Paraphrasing the title of a Graham Greene crime classic, J.A. Konrath’s THESE GUNS FOR HIRE rounds up 31 short stories – all but four never before published – about hitmen. There’s some big names here, and some of them even have good aim.

Rather than mention all of them, I’m just going to hit the highlights. After all, hitmen have tight schedules, and we haven’t got all day, either. Let’s just start with the book’s best: “The Attitude Adjuster” by David Morrell. Here, Morrell resurrects his THE PROTECTOR hero to straighten out a frustrated road laborer who starts renting himself out to beat the crap out of people who need it. The concept is clever, the execution brilliant. This world needs more adventures of Cavanaugh.

Just like the world needs more adventures of Quarry, Max Allan Collins’ greatest creation. Recently seen in THE LAST QUARRY novel from Hard Case Crime, the mostly retired hitman is still managing a ritzy lake resort in “Guest Services” when his attention is diverted by a loudmouthed blowhard visitor who bullies his wife. Quarry being Quarry, he decides to do something about it, and it doesn’t involve a complimentary mint on the pillow.

Like Quarry, a Keller story is always welcome, and Lawrence Block offers just that in “Keller’s Designated Hitter,” which finds our favorite stamp-collecting life-snuffer targeting a major leaguer.

Other stories – from authors includes M.J. Rose, Jeff Abbott, Jay Bonansinga, P.J. Parrish and Victor Gischler – involve rock ‘n’ rollers, Catholic priests, suicide counselors, jilted lovers, trailer-park trash, bartenders, bowlers, nuns and even spirits of supernatural origin.

A few writers mine ballsier fare in brevity, finding that they can get away with more in less pages. Falling into this category are Sean Doolittle’s tale of convenience-store-robbery payback and Ed Gorman’s über-twisted foray into the beauty-pageant world.

But conversely, short doesn’t always mean sweet. Brian Wiprud’s “When You’re Right, You’re Right” tries for humor and fails miserably. And written as it is in a thick Irish dialect, Ken Bruen’s “Punk” exudes more annoyance than narrative.

Regardless of length, several stories merely are indistinguishable from one another, and the quality seems to suffer a steep decline in the second half. There are a few too many duds to justify paying the collection’s full price of $27.95, but I wouldn’t hesitate at a discount.

Indie publisher Bleak House Books goes the extra mile with a handy, hefty bibliography at the end, listing each author’s novels, book by book, even organized into series. Also worth singling out is the book’s inventive, black-comic jacket design, which imagines what a criminal element’s cubicle might look like. However, this visual niftiness doesn’t carry over to the guts, as the inside text sports some one of the laziest, jarringly inconsistent kerning jobs these eyes have ever witnessed. –Rod Lott

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OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF THESE AUTHORS:
• THE ADVENTURE OF THE MISSING DETECTIVE AND 19 OF THE YEAR’S FINEST CRIME AND MYSTERY STORIES edited by by Ed Gorman and Martin H. Greenberg
• BLACK RIVER FALLS by Ed Gorman
• THE BURGLAR WHO THOUGHT HE WAS BOGART by Lawrence Block
• BUST by Ken Bruen and Jason Starr
• CREEPERS by David Morrell
• CROOKED by Brian M. Wiprud
• DEAN KOONTZ’S FRANKENSTEIN: BOOK TWO – CITY OF NIGHT by Dean Koontz and Ed Gorman
• DICK TRACY by Max Allan Collins
• DIFFERENT KINDS OF DEAD AND OTHER TALES by Ed Gorman
• FROZEN by Jay Bonansinga
• GHOST TOWN by Ed Gorman
• THE GIRL WITH THE LONG GREEN HEART by Lawrence Block
• GRAVES’ RETREAT by Ed Gorman
• GUNSLINGER AND NINE OTHER ACTION-PACKED STORIES OF THE WILD WEST by Ed Gorman
• INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS: A TRIBUTE edited by Kevin McCarthy and Ed Gorman
• THE LAST QUARRY by Max Allan Collins
• LUCKY AT CARDS by Lawrence Block
• MY LOLITA COMPLEX AND OTHER TALES OF SEX AND VIOLENCE by Max Allan Collins and Matthew V. Clemens
• QUARRY’S LIST by Max Allan Collins
• ROAD TO PARADISE by Max Allan Collins
• SHOTGUN OPERA by Victor Gischler
• SLEEP WITH THE FISHES by Brian M. Wiprud
• TWISTED by Jay Bonansinga
• THE WAR OF THE WORLDS MURDER by Max Allan Collins
• THE WIDOW OF SLANE AND SIX MORE OF THE BEST CRIME AND MYSTERY NOVELLAS OF THE YEAR edited by Ed Gorman and Martin H. Greenberg
• WOLF MOON by Ed Gorman