Those boys from LORD OF THE FLIES had it easy, compared to the cast of felonious characters comprising Rob Hedden’s THE CONDEMNED. It’s a novelization to the upcoming WWE Films action movie starring Stone Cold Steve Austin, and if the flick is anything like the book, I’m already in line.

A not-too-implausible semi-satire on the increasingly boundary-pushing state of reality television, THE CONDEMNED is about a revolutionary Internet pay-per-view show that plucks 10 death row inmates from their respective prisons and plops them on to an island for a fight-to-the-finish brawl in which only one will be left standing. The time bombs on their ankle bracelets make sure of that.

It’s all the brainchild of an egotistical producer who’s hand-picked the criminals to represent a melting pot: There’s a Russian, a Nazi, a Brit, an Asian, two African-Americans, two Hispanics, someone I’m forgetting and – lastly and most importantly – Jack Conrad, a bald, badass Texan who’s spent the last year in a Central American prison after working deep undercover for the federal government.

Conrad’s more than a little pissed that he’s mistaken for a ruthless, cold-blooded killer like the others, who are pretty much shorn of morals. So while they’re all leaping and chasing and trapping and slaying from one area of the island to the other – in hopes of being the sole victor, winning a prize of freedom –  Conrad just wants to get his hands on the producer who’s behind it all, and then get home to his waitress girlfriend and her two kids.

Explosions, impalements, rape – Hedden doles out much punishment upon his hateful murderers, some more hateful than others. The characters are stock and driven down to mere stereotypes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Without apologies, THE CONDEMNED is a down-and-dirty genre piece that delivers high-concept adventure with lots of brutal action. Some would argue it’s too brutal, and I concede that the escapist nature of the piece does take a disturbing turn into sheer bloodlust in the final 30 or 40 pages.

Though “World Wrestling Entertainment Books” sounds like an oxymoron, seeing its brand on the spine is almost as reliable a sign of a good read as Hard Case Crime. From Dan Madigan’s SEE NO EVIL to Rudy Joseph’s BIG APPLE TAKEDOWN, WWE Books’ thin bibliography hasn’t disappointed me yet for no-brainer thrills. Despite a penchant for dialogue so loud it has to be written in all caps, Hedden appears to be more skilled in the writing department than those other guys. Finally, his scripting work on FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN pays off. –Rod Lott

Buy it at Amazon.

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF WWE BOOKS:
• BIG APPLE TAKEDOWN by Rudy Joseph
• SEE NO EVIL by Dan Madigan