Charles Kelly’s debut novel PAY HERE is something of a misfire. You can see he had the right idea, but it’s told in a manner that’s frustrating for readers. If it’s not the constant switching between first- and third-person viewpoints, then it’s the overly detailed passages of characters and their wardrobe, to the point where I got lost a few times just trying to keep things straight.
Michael Callan is a reporter for a local paper in Arizona, but acts more like Mike Hammer. For what there is, the plot meanders a bit too much, revolving around a dead woman named Rhea, who was the local boss of various illegal operations, be it immigrant smuggling or other schemes.
We also meet a woman named Daly Marcus, an artist who was helped out by Rhea many years ago. It starts off with her taking Rhea up on a job offer to repay her for all the help she got, but once Daly arrives, it seems Rhea is involved in a serious car crash.
This was the point – and sadly, it’s very early on – where most readers will grow tired. For what could have been a pretty taut mystery, PAY HERE falls into many a trap, including plot points that will be seen a mile away. Of course, you have the typical don’t-get-involved-in-things-that-should-be-left-alone angles, the requisite attempt on Callan’s life, and then the unfolding of the real reason behind what’s going on.
But most mystery fans will see it so far in advance, they will give up. Kelly does manage some great moments in the book; it’s just that all the padding around those moments will make most stop a lot sooner. –Bruce Grossman
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Switching between first and third person pov’s is one of those things that sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in the real world, much like communism.
I can understand the temptation, though (of combined first/third person)–a strong first person voice is a wonderful thing, but the limitations of being trapped in that POV can be very frustrating.