We here at BOOKGASM have a little rule which we don’t invoke often, but I’m about to: The dreaded 100-page rule. That means simply, if it’s not good by page 100, quit reading. LIFELESS by Mark Billingham fell victim to it.
Let’s start off with a problem: For anyone new to this UK series, you’ll feel completely lost. You know the feeling: Everyone says you should watch such-and-such show or read such-and-such book, so you pick it up or tune in and have no idea what’s even going on.
I thought I could plow through this one, but it’s just typical cop crap, with nothing to grab you at all. Someone is kicking the homeless to death? Big deal. I really don’t care, because it’s been covered before. If there is one thing I’ve learned in all my crime reading, it’s the typical clichés that are associated with the genre. Well, the aptly titled LIFELESS is filled with them in the first 100 pages.
Let’s review: We have a burnt-out cop who needs to take a break. The anal-retentive boss who follows the rules to the letter. The hero cop who needs to go undercover as a homeless person (albeit with a well-hidden cache of money and a cell phone). A friendly homeless kid. But here is the kicker (no pun intended): He’s a junkie who is in love with another junkie. I’ll take a wild guess what happens to them: They either die from an overdose, or she is killed and he O.D.s. How many times have we seen this in modern-day entertainment?
Save yourself the time and trouble and pick up a George Pelecanos or Elmore Leonard book instead. But if you crave British crime, then grab Allan Guthrie’s KISS HER GOODBYE from Hard Case Crime. –Bruce Grossman
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