Definitely not to be confused with the Patrick Swayze movie, GHOST is sci-fi writer John Ringo’s attempt at writing something outside the genre. In doing so, he may have created his own genre: the pornographic technothriller.
The title is the code name for its completely unlikable protagonist, a former Navy SEAL named Mike Harmon. In his 50s and newly divorced, Harmon has re-enrolled in college in Georgia and is busy stalking co-eds on campus when he witnesses a young woman being kidnapped. He jumps on the van all stealth-like, which takes him to an airport, where he jumps on the plane all stealth-like. Before we know it, he’s in the Middle East, taking on an entire Al Qaeda cell, which has 50 – 50! – American girls held hostage, all of whom they plan to rape, torture and kill, in that order.
That setup is so over-the-top and bizarre that it’s kind of fun, even with all the indecipherable military speak bandied about. When Harmon equips three of the girls – all naked, mind you – with grenades, teaches them how to turn tampons and condoms into tools of war, and renames them Babe, Bambi and Thumper, we’ve fully entered cartoon territory, with the square-jawed Harmon being played by McBain, the Schwarzenegger clone of THE SIMPSONS.
For this stretch, I enjoyed how unseriously GHOST dared to take itself. Like having one of the freed hostages immediately find a computer, sign up on AOL Instant Messenger as “HostageGirl” and find help via a chat room. Most conveniently, it just so happens there’s one called “InsideTheHostageRescue.”
But that fun is short-lived as this section of the book comes to a close on page 161. Apparently, GHOST isn’t a novel, but a trilogy of stand-alone novellas. The second story is little more than a 100+ page S&M sex scene, as Harmon talks two college girls into taking a boat trip with him to the Bahamas, during which they do little more than screw, as Mr. Ghost teaches them proper blowjob techniques and introduces them to the wonderful world of butt plugs. Then, for a few pages, he takes on some pirates.
If there’s still any doubt, the third novella is where GHOST truly crosses the line. Now in Eastern Europe, Harmon visits a brothel and brutally rapes a hooker for several agonizing pages, all because he’s stressed and hasn’t killed anybody lately. He makes up for that by killing even more terrorists. The end.
Harmon himself tells several characters that he’s a bad guy, so the reader is more or less warned. But a rapist is another can of worms altogether, and one wonders why Ringo decided to devote a book to him, not to mention the threat of a series. What starts off as a guilty pleasure becomes sordid and needlessly ugly – the very definition of gratuitous, and I’m far from prudish. If Tom Clancy is your box-office blockbuster, then GHOST is your straight-to-video offering starring Michael Dudikoff. With too many tits and not enough ’splosions – something I thought not possible.
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My god, that sounds like one heinous novel. It almost sounds like the author want to set up readers — here’s what you get for liking this kind of story. Or something. Weird.
Brian.
AMERICAN PSYCHO is tame by comparison. I think this is a strong contender for the year’s worst novel.
This sounds completely crazy. I had to check to see if it was from a real publisher or some kind of sleazy outfit, but i guess it looks legit. The reviews on Amazon are pretty funny.
Does Ringo usually write science fiction? I seem to remember his name and space opera going together. How is that stuff?
Brian.
Yes, he’s primarily known for writing SF with a military-action bent, like THE HERO. I haven’t read anything else of his, however.
I kind of want to read this.
There was a time when I wanted to read it, too. And then I read it. Now I can never take that back.
Next time you’re in the bookstore, flip open to somewhere around page 200 and start reading. It either will cure you of your curiosity or send you the restroom for a quick wank.
Very interesting comments. Probably by some who know very little about the world that might exist both sexually and where violence is concerned.
Also the idea that “Heros” are more pure than one believes is rather amusing to someone who might have participated in the violence and sex at sometime. Heros are crazy MF’s, or straight people who fall into a situation where they simply do what they have to do. Some get lucky most don’t. But a whole lot of them are crazy assholes who do in fact get a little kinky, and yes some of the things described do get done by genuine heros.
Ringo’s work IS a little over the top. Us fifty year old ex -icemen better in our imagination, “The older I gets the better I was!”, so I have to look a little in askance at some of the things. But capability of violence that most civilized people can not really imagine even at fifty? have no doubts. Even as a young, dumb and full of cum, idiot who thought he was invinciple KNEW not to screw around with the old guys we ran with. Could I have taken any of them straight up – almost for sure. Unfortunately it never would have been straight up cause they would always have been cheating. I remember one old guy saying, “Remember drone, you are going to have to fight. Sometimes you will win and sometimes you will lose, but ALWAYS cheat. If it’s worth fighting for, it’s worth cheating!” Remembering that I do not think I have lost a fight since I got old enough to remember that someone just might be better than me. I have had a few, but I always cheat. So while Ringo’s work is a little over the top the language was right on the mark. And the scenes were not that distant from reality, just a bit exaggerated like any good sea story.
Not sure I followed all that, but Best Comment Ever all the same, sir.
It’s meant to be over the top. Take the Plane ride for instance(in the wheel well of a passenger jet), Ringo knew it would asphyxiate any human, left it in because its over the top. Didn’t notice any “indecipherable military speak.” It was all completely decipherable.