Ahoy, land lubber! This week, Ol’ Capt. Bruce is setting sail in the world of nautical fare, with three books set on ships or on islands. So stop watching PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST for once and feed your parrot a cracker. Let’s hope for smooth sailing and no choppy waters. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum indeed.

THE SPANISH CAPE MYSTERY by Ellery Queen – Nothing is more enjoyable then a well-done mystery. I’m talking about a real mystery which keeps you guessing until the final reveal, even with all the clues right in front of you. The master of these type of stories is, of course, the writing team that comprised the pseudonymous Ellery Queen.

This 1935 story is pretty straightforward for an Ellery Queen mystery: no huge puzzle here – just some simple deduction and logic to test your abilities. Ellery is on vacation with a judge pal of his in the inland seafront called Spanish Cape. But the mystery is only a page away, when they arrive and find a girl tied to a chair in a cottage.

As she explains it, she and her brother were settling in for the night when a eyepatch-sporting sailor came bursting in and took her brother, mistaking him for a man named John Marco.

But this is not the central mystery, my friends. Instead, here’s the problem that Ellery faces: Said John Marco turns up in a mansion, stark naked except for an opera cloak. The who’s and why’s flow readily from there on out. It seems the other couples in the mansion have no real connection to each other, until slowly, a giant blackmail scheme emerges, with Marco being the central figure.

Throw in half-dozen red herrings and you’ll be thinking everyone could be the killer. Okay, so it’s not really all that nautical, but the girl on the cover can shiver my timbers any day.

THE OPIUM SHIP by H. Bedford Jones – We’re going real old school with this 1919 tale, from the good old days of pulp. The sad thing is, it’s a jumbled and confused mess of a read. Not only is it filled with a ton of racist terms toward the Chinese, but the plot has more holes than a block of Swiss cheese. We’re talking huge plot holes, where nothing is explained, but all of a sudden, things are accomplished.

The basic plot finds a down-on-his-luck flying ace Gerald Desmond shanghaied aboard a ship. Not long after, of course, there is a mutiny, in order to meet up with another ship to transport opium. After the switch, both ships are then shipwrecked.

Then some other crap happens that is just too unbelievable. Even with two women tossed in – one for each ship – we have a total jumble of a pulp tale. I wish I could say every old pulp is a must-read, but this is a must-avoid unless you’re looking to scratch your head in disbelief.

COUNT BACKWARDS TO ZERO by Brett Halliday – This 1971 effort is another in the long list of ghostwritten Mike Shayne books, this time by the prolific Robert Terrall.

Mike’s coming off a really bad case in Bermuda: A girl he knew was in trouble and was called down there. It did not end pretty. So instead of rushing back to the States, Mike decides to take a boat.

You should have taken the plane, Mike. Because on the ship, he meets Anne Blagden, a girl who doesn’t take “no” for an answer. She wants Mike to help out her and a man named Dr. Little, who’s smuggled an atomic bomb on board in the gas tank of a Bentley.

Let that sink in now. This is a typical Shayne book, in that everything goes according to plan … until the car goes missing, along with the doc, who turns up dead. Then there’s the appearance of a girl claiming to be the daughter of Dr. Little. This tries too hard by throwing everything in, including a bomb scare that clears out most of Florida, and the payoff is lacking. Still, snazzy cover.

Next time: Spies play games, too, y’know. –Bruce Grossman

Buy it at Amazon.

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF THESE AUTHORS:
• BODIES ARE WHERE YOU FIND THEM by Brett Halliday
• GUILTY AS HELL by Brett Halliday
• NEVER KILL A CLIENT by Brett Halliday
• TARGET: MIKE SHAYNE by Brett Halliday