There’s no true theme with this column, except that they are all oversized books that sat upon the top shelf of a bookcase I stare at daily, and it was about time to clear it off. So let’s make some space so I can fit more books into my already cramped shelves.
SEVEN SLAYERS by Paul Cain – Here is a super-quick review of what many consider a hard-boiled classic: frustration. Hey, I love the genre and will read just about anything, but this 1950 book … to put it bluntly, Shakespeare and Sophocles are easier reading. It’s incredibly stilted and will lose you a few times. But here’s the real kicker: They’re all short stories and still have this problem.
I just could not wrap my head around some of it. Maybe it was the bang-up job from the publisher who thought the less amount of paper used, the better. Everyone in these stories are the bleakest examples of noir ever. We’re talking seriously dark in their actions, where people are killed like they were a fly on a windowsill for no reason other than they are a loose end.
The opening story “Black” has more double-crosses then a Sunday Times, but I could not keep track of who was who since the writing is just jarring. “Parlor Trick” takes an interesting idea of a woman finding a dead body in her kitchen, but it’s so short, you have to reread it since you feel like you missed something. “One, Two, Three” deals with some sort of blackmail scheme or something, but I felt like tearing my hair out. In a better version of this book, it might have read a lot easier, instead of what looks like one giant run-on sentence.
Hey, at least I understood HAMLET.
EVERY LITTLE CROOK AND NANNY by Evan Hunter – I had no idea what to expect from this little Salvation Army find. I mean how could I go wrong on a Hunter – aka Ed McBain – hardcover for a buck? This 1972 book is a total ride. It’s not some dour little crime tale, but more like the criminal version of THE COMEDY OF ERRORS.
The “87th Precinct” novels this isn’t. While vacationing in Italy, a mob boss and his wife leave their child at home with his British nanny. Some overeducated kidnapper pops up, thinking he found the perfect kid to take, not realizing who the daddy is. The nanny drags in one of the mob goons to help her raise the money to get the boy back before Daddy comes home.
That’s pretty much the plot and to go any further with some of the exploits will totally ruin the fun. It’s extremely funny how so many wires get crossed in this book, with various amounts of money floating around for various reasons instead of the ransom. The novel is packed with some truly bizarre characters – each with their own motives – like a dumber-than-dirt crook, a cat burglar who steals a kid’s watch, a Japanese enforcer, a crooked cop and a snitch who tries to finagle the ransom for himself.
Here’s the great thing: Each chapter is named after a character, with a photograph to represent them – all very ’70s-looking. Throughout the book, if a telegram or a postcard is read, we see a reproduction of the actual item – an original idea for the time.
Hunter juggles so many balls in this book, you’re just amazed how well it’s all pulled off. But let’s be honest: Anyone who has read his other works under the McBain name knows full well he pretty much can handle squad rooms of men with no problem. I highly recommend searching this out.
BROADS, DON’T SCARE EASY by Hank Janson – Sadly, this 1951 novel is the last of the Janson books I own, but it definitely does not disappoint, even with the way-too-painted face on the cover. Unlike the two previous Janson books I’ve covered, BROADS does not feature the reporter Hank Janson. Instead, it’s told through the eyes of a hired gun named Joey, who – for lack of a better comparison – could have easily fit into a certain Steinbeck novel.
It starts off with a prologue of a bunch of children playing in a field, with our narrator Joey showing off his father’s gun, claiming he found it. Of course, boys being boys, there is some teasing and a beatdown not seen since ENDER’S GAME when one of the boys takes the gun from Joey and won’t give it back. Joey goes on the offensive now that he has a bullet lodged in his brain.
Fast-forward to many years later. The children are now all adults and working for Nick, one of the instigators. Joey works for him also, just being happy that he has a gun to play with … but no bullets, until he needs them. Janson never plays Joey as a chump or just a simpleton, which easily could have been done. Joey realizes what is going on around him, but does not always understand it.
The story deals with Bannister, an honest cop in a crooked town. He can’t figure out why every one is on the take, letting Nick run the town like his little fiefdom. Then he crosses Nick one too many times. When the gang comes across Bannister, he is hassling some vagrant girl, and Nick steps in to save her, with Joey becoming smitten right away.
Don’t worry: Joey doesn’t pull the Lenny move. He figures that he can get the girl a job through Nick, since Nick has always been his pal. So Nick and the crew take care of the cop, but his relatives work for the feds and are determined to find out who killed him.
Janson keeps the story moving right along, never losing steam. Even at the climax, when things are discovered by some of Nick’s crew, you’re set up to think one thing is about to happen. But it being Janson, the tables are turned in another great piece of forgotten pulp that brightened my reading.
Next time: 3 = 6. –Bruce Grossman
OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF HANK JANSON:
• WHEN DAMES GET TOUGH WITH SCARRED FACES & OTHER RARITIES by Hank Janson
• SKIRTS BRING ME SORROW by Hank Janson
OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF ED MCBAIN:
• THE GUTTER AND THE GRAVE by Ed McBain
• LEARNING TO KILL: STORIES by Ed McBain
• LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE DEAF MAN by Ed McBain
• THE PUSHER by Ed McBain
• SHOTGUN by Ed McBain
• TRANSGRESSIONS edited by Ed McBain
Related posts:
- BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Skirting the Issue
- BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Guns N’ Gams
- BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Speedy Reading in the Summertime
- BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Tools of the Trade
- BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Detectives & Dragons
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree about the Evan Hunter book. It was the first one I read after finding out my favorite writer, Ed McBain, was Evan Hunter. I read later that the pictures at each chapter are all Hunter in disguise.
Gerry they are unless there was some Rick Baker type doing the makeup. Since I don’t think Hunter could either pass for a cute British girl, a little boy, or a Chinese man.
*they are not
I didn’t care for Fast One or 7 Slayers at all. Not sure where the cult of Paul Cain came from. For me he’s barely readable.
People either love or hate Paul Cain. I can’t stand him myself, but I know people who rave about him. It seems they talk more about his “spare prose” that anything else.
I was be the biggest fool around here. I didn’t realize that Evan Hunter and Ed McBain were the same man. Oops. Sounds like a cool book.