Alright, these books are about as scary as something on COUNT FLOYD’S MONSTER CHILLER HORROR THEATER, but they do feature monsters in their own way – be it the fantastical kind or the evil genius types who pour out of pulps. Ooh, scary!

CODE NAME: WEREWOLF by Nick Carter – Yes, folks long before he was making a career out of the Russian police force, Martin Cruz Smith ghostwrote four Nick Carter books, including this 1973 entry. Guess you have to start somewhere to pay the bills. What is really funny is the cover blurb that proclaims it’s as chilling as THE DAY OF THE JACKAL. There is a real simple reason for that: Smith pretty much steals the entire plot of it.

The story deals with our trusted super-secret agent going after an assassin called The Werewolf, whose mission is to kill – you guessed it – Gen. Franco. But Smith is more concerned with Nick Carter dealing with a group of soldiers of fortune – one in particular named Barbarossa, who doesn’t like how this American is making time with a Spanish countess.

Things move along with Smith putting Carter through the typical paces of the series: sex and violence with a terrific gunfight scene. Then, of course, we get the final showdown between the two evenly matched men of Carter and Werewolf. The novel is passable, but nothing spectacular, and there is nothing showing off what was to come from Smith’s real writing career. It’s very by-the-numbers with no surprises.

Still, it took all of two hours to devour, so it’s not like it taxed my time or energy. Plus, with a series like Nick Carter, Smith plays it very close to the vest with real excitement that sells these books. Sure, he peppers it with some fight scenes, but nothing that will truly make you remember it after it’s all said and done.

GOING POSTAL by Terry Pratchett –  I recently watched the British TV miniseries THE COLOUR OF MONEY, based on the first two Pratchett books. I liked it, but there are some that disagree, so I figured it was time to go back to Discworld one more time. This 2004 effort was a standalone until last fall, when MAKING MONEY revived the same character.

The story is all about con man Moist Von Lipig, who is given the job of being the newest postmaster of Ankh-Morpork. But once he arrives on the scene, he finds a building packed from floor to ceiling of undelivered letters, and a crew of workers who fit nicely into Prachett’s little word of eccentrics. Stanley is a few steps short of a stairwell, to put it mildly, and the longtime postman Groat has never been promoted, despite being at the job since he was a teen.

Moist goes full-force into this new job, figuring it’s this or being hanged for his crimes. But he is also saddled with a golem named Mr. Pump, a parole officer who never leaves his side. You also get a vampire photographer, a werewolf cop and one seriously pissed-off banshee. Moist introduces the wacky idea of clearing space and delivering all this old mail, no matter what it takes, before coming up with the idea of stamps and delivery to other towns.

Of course, this does not sit well with some town folk – namely, a group of men running what can be best described as a version of the telegraph, except with a semaphore.

This is how easy Prachett wins over fans: The book can be read in no time at all, even at its long length. You just want to see what else he comes up with. It was a nice change of pace to read something that made me laugh out loud – on purpose, mind you. So I’ll patiently wait until the second book makes it to paperback or least until the hardcover hits the remainder tables.

THE SPIDER #3: THE CITY DESTROYER by Grant Stockbridge – So when did The Spider become Mack Bolan? That’s the question I pose for you readers. I mean, the cover of this 1935 novel shows The Spider as some sort of secret agent. The funny thing, you would have no idea this was written in the ’30s (but there are no forced modernizations in it, like with other reprints of the day).

Dick Wentworth is back, this time working with local police to catch a crazy madman known as The Master. He has a truly evil device: a steel-eater, which can level a building in less than a minute. This machine is used to destroy not only the Trade Center, but also the Brooklyn Bridge. See, The Spider figured out the real use of this weapon – that of robbing banks – with The Master always a step or two ahead of our hero.

The great thing about this book is I don’t think you can go two or three pages without someone being shot at, stabbed or merely beaten up. It truly is pulp to the nth degree. It may fly by a little too quick for some readers since plot points are glanced over like a car skidding on some black ice, but who cares? You don’t read this stuff for some book club. Pure escapism, plain and simple – that’s what these stories are all about. For those who wish to wait, this story will be part of the next Baen trade paperback reissue that comes out this summer.

Next time: Bob Ross had the coolest fro on TV. –Bruce Grossman

Buy it at Amazon.

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF NICK CARTER:
• DEADLY DOUBLES by Nick Carter
• DEEP SEA DEATH by Nick Carter
• THE GOLDEN BULL by Nick Carter
• HIDE AND GO DIE by Nick Carter
• ICE TRAP TERROR by Nick Carter
• MACAO by Nick Carter
• THE OMEGA TERROR by Nick Carter
• STRIKE FORCE TERROR by Nick Carter

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF TERRY PRATCHETT:
• MEN AT ARMS by Terry Pratchett

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF MARTIN CRUZ SMITH:
• STALIN’S GHOST by Martin Cruz Smith

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF THE SPIDER:
• THE SPIDER: ROBOT TITANS OF GOTHAM by Norvell Page