I understand the BREAKIN’ 2 subtitle reference is one of the most overused sequel jokes out there, but I could not pass it up. Here I go again with another column entirely devoted to books in the mighty DESTROYER canon. As you will see, this is another cream-of-the-crop bunch, all written by Remo Williams’ original twosome.

THE DESTROYER #6: DEATH THERAPY by Richard Sapir & Warren Murphy — While Remo is rehabbing on a golf course in this 1972 adventure, a funny thing happens: A special forces unit tries to kill him, only nicking his shirt, but that’s more than enough to piss him off.

Meanwhile, an undersecretary for the Treasury is sending out a letter to his secretary with detailed info that has to be personally handed to the president. It seems that the U.S. government is for sale and is about to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. Then there are the strange actions of an Air Force general who bombs a garbage dump, then ejects with no parachute, all the while humming a tune no one can place.

What does all this mean? Who would want to kill Remo? Maybe someone has discovered the secret that is CURE? Remo and Chiun are sent to investigate, but before they even get started, they’re visited by FBI agents who learn a lesson: Never mess with the TV watching of a master of Sinanju.

This forces our heroes to go somewhere totally unexpected: a therapist retreat, where they get in touch with their feelings. It becomes quite apparent that this place is just a front for something more sinister, and Remo explains he is there to kill the doctor in charge.

Another in the really early exploits of the long-running series, DEATH THERAPY finds Chiun not as condescending as he would become, and he uses a Yiddish term I’ve never seen him say ever again. While Remo is a smart-ass who has good intentions, don’t piss him off. Now for some weird reason, I’m in the mood to watch MARY POPPINS.

THE DESTROYER #9: MURDER’S SHIELD by Richard Sapir & Warren Murphy — This 1973 one came highly recommended to me by author Tom Picirilli — a man I can trust for a good book. Someone is killing off all the bad guys, including pimps, gunrunners, crooked judges and mob lawyers. As you can deduce from the book’s title, it’s policemen who are taking the law into their vigilante hands.

This mission is a tough one for Remo since he’s up against men who think they’re doing the right thing, but also because Remo himself was once a cop. Throughout the story, he can’t decide if what he is doing is the best course of action; after all, why not let the cops clean up the streets their own way? But it becomes more apparent that the man in charge of this little operation is doing it for political clout.

Remo sets himself up as a some big-time criminal to get an in to this organization and take it out. But it becomes obvious that what he thought was just a local group is actually a nationwide organization with cops flying around from town to town, wasting the bad guys.

This is just a kick-ass entry in the DESTROYER series. The mighty Chiun does not disappoint in the least, be it an autographed photo from one of his favorite soap stars or the over-the-top sarcasm he unleashes throughout.

THE DESTROYER #10: TERROR SQUAD by Richard Sapir & Warren Murphy — As the name of this 1973 installment implies, the central baddies in this one are terrorists, with the book opening with an airplane hijacking and going full-tilt from then. When another plane is hijacked for money, Dr. Harold Smith sends in Remo as a negotiator like no other.

Remo persuades these hijackers to use him as the only hostage, so while they are flying, he disposes of the folks the only way he knows how. Watch that first step out the door, fellas! He learns that these guys were trained at some college in upstate New York, making Chiun all excited that maybe they’ll get to go to Brooklyn to see the monument to Barbara Streisand.

It becomes apparent these terrorists are in the vein of spoiled rich kids, but Dr. Smith is way too impatient for Remo and Chiun to finish up the case, causing even more headaches. Most fans will be able to pick up who the mystery boss is right away; of course, this being one of the early adventures, you know that enemy will pop up again.

THE DESTROYER #17: LAST WAR DANCE by Richard Sapir & Warren Murphy — To quote that Memphis band The Oblivions, “I’ve got the Indian in me.” Let out all your war yelps, wear a headdress and chase each other around with tomahawks to get in the mood for this yarn.

Years ago, a secret drilling project was going on in the small town of Wounded Elk — so secret that once completed, the guy in charge had to kill his right-hand man so no one would know what was buried under the town: a device called the Cassandra, which is a nuclear bomb not unlike the doomsday machine from DR. STRANGELOVE. Worse, they made it a national monument.

Since this book is from 1974, there are some very funny potshots taken, be it a book about Wounded Knee or a certain actor’s Oscar acceptance speech (or who was sent to make it for him). See, the monument has been overrun by a group of Indians who want their justice and land back. Remo and Chiun pick up the only man who can help with Cassandra: creator Gen. Van Riker, who can dismantle the weapon so it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands. Like the Russians.

Murphy and Sapir have lots of fun poking fun at certain groups in this book, even down to certain stereotypes in which Remo won’t indulge.

THE DESTROYER #19: HOLY TERROR by Richard Sapir & Warren Murphy — The Moonies, the Hare Krishnas, and that one pulp-science-fiction cult all seem to be rolled into one in this 1975 paperback. A new cult in India called the Divine Bliss has slowly made footholds in various big cities in America, but at the start, it’s really about some Southern girl whose dad wants her back.

She will return if her father sends over the Baptist preacher to India to meet with the cult leader. But as soon as the preacher arrives, he sees things a lot clearer than the girl in question, especially when we find this blissful leader to be a petulant little racist who is infatuated with his Pong machine. (Believe it or not, Pong is central to this story.)

How Remo and Chiun get tied into this one comes down to Dr. Smith’s paranoia, since there might be a leak in the CURE operation. Our twosome is stuck in New Mexico waiting for orders from Smitty when things take a turn for the worse. They are to meet a person who has left the cult with big news of what it plans on doing in the U.S. But unfortunately, he ended up having a room next to Chiun and Remo and a “disagreement” happens; the outcome should come as no surprise to anyone who knows what Chiun is capable of.

If this sounds confusing, don’t worry. It all comes together, with Sapir and Murphy taking many a potshot at the whole cult/religion aspect, throwing in some truly funny moments of some backwoods KKK members, high-up government officials and a would-be hired killer. Plus, Chiun takes a trip to “Disneyland” — well, that’s what Remo calls a park by the wharf to make Chiun happy.

THE ASSASSIN’S HANDBOOK by Will Murray — A reference guide to the DESTROYER series with plenty of words of wisdom from everyone’s favorite Korean, this 1982 collection compiles little pieces made to look like Chiun has written it himself, with such topics as the history of Sinanju, a diet plan, clothes and sexual fulfillment. Its tongue is thoroughly in cheek, and die-hard Remo fans will get a huge kick out of it.

But those are only small parts of this terrific companion, since it kicks off with the short story “The Day Remo Died.” (Here’s a spoiler: He doesn’t.) Other highlights include an interview with both the series’ creators, who go into great detail about the movie deal and its original plot, which would later become their novel FOOL’S GOLD. Murray also gives his Top 10 picks for the best of the DESTROYER series, some of which have already been featured in this column.

Then you get two pieces about the good guys and a detailed article about some of the series’ villains. All the major players are mentioned, but what really sets this book apart are the passages from Chiun himself, where he berates Murphy and Sapir, and the distortion they do to his good name.

Closing out the collection is “The Official Book of Sinanju,” which details various legends and tales Chiun has briefly mentioned in DESTROYER books before. (Who knew the Masters on Sinanju actually invented the sandwich?) Even if you’ve read only the new series of DESTROYER novels, you won’t feel left out. This is a bit of a history lesson in one of the best men’s adventure series out there — one that might have had a small bump in the road, but is definitely back on track.

Next time: Men on a mission! —Bruce Grossman

Buy them at Amazon.

“He aimed the knife point at Remo’s solar plexus, and moved forward, knife, hand, and arm.”
—THE DESTROYER #10: TERROR SQUAD by Richard Sapir & Warren Murphy

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF THE DESTROYER SERIES:
• THE BEST OF THE DESTROYER by Warren Murphy and Richard Sapir
• THE DESTROYER #5: DR. QUAKE by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #11: KILL OR CURE by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #13: ACID ROCK by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #14: JUDGMENT DAY by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #15: MURDER WARD by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #18: FUNNY MONEY by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #22: BRAIN DRAIN by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #23: CHILD’S PLAY by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #24: KING’S CURSE by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #30: MUGGER BLOOD by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #32: KILLER CHROMOSOMES by Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #38: BAY CITY BLAST by Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #39: MISSING LINK by Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #46: NEXT OF KIN by Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #48: PROFIT MOTIVE by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #49: SKIN DEEP by Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #52: FOOL’S GOLD by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #11: KILL OR CURE by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy
• THE DESTROYER #55: MASTER’S CHALLENGE by Will Murray
• THE DESTROYER #78: BLUE SMOKE AND MIRRORS by Will Murray
• THE DESTROYER #89: DARK HORSE by Will Murray
• THE DESTROYER #104: ANGRY WHITE MAILMEN by Will Murray
• THE DESTROYER #145: DRAGON BONES by Tim Somheil
• THE NEW DESTROYER: CHOKE HOLD by Warren Murphy and James Mullaney
• THE NEW DESTROYER: DEAD RECKONING by Warren Murphy and James Mullaney
• THE NEW DESTROYER: GUARDIAN ANGEL by Warren Murphy and James Mullaney

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF WARREN MURPHY:
• GRANDMASTER by Warren Murphy
• TRACE: GETTING UP WITH FLEAS by Warren Murphy