BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Holidays in the Sun

It's still summer, so let me be your travel agent in the world of reading. As you will see, all these books are in the men's adventure line, taking place far and wide — be it down south or some tropical paradise — usually with deadly outcomes. So sit back and relax as we travel with the most antisocial set ever. THE ASSASSIN #2: NEW ORLEANS HOLOCAUST by Peter McCurtin — This 1973 book is nothing more than a direct rip-off of the Mack Bolan archetype. I mean, we have the main character whose family was killed by the mob and swears revenge on the criminal lot, and has never-ending wealth to keep him in deadly toys and travel. What separates them by a super-thin margin is that main character Robert Briganti is known to be The Assassin, unlike Bolan, who tries to keep his name out of the papers. Briganti's name is plastered on the front page, and he sends tapes to the FBI explaining whom he killed and where their bodies are. The "plot" is nothing more than a reason to trot out action scenes and show off Briganti as some sort of vigilante. Like there is any other kind in these books. The story deals with a giant meet-up of Mob bosses from around the country in New Orleans, to not only settle a few flare-ups within the organization, but also to hold a think tank for ways to get rid of Briganti. For anyone who has seen PUNISHER: WAR ZONE, just imagine that, but even more dumbed down — especially that opening, when he lays waste in the mansion. That scene would be the climax of this book, just with grenades instead of guns. Briganti kills countless Mafia goons. He's no superhero type; he does get injured and is helped by a girl who knew him when she was younger. Take a wild guess what happens to her. That's right: She is sold out by one of her neighbors and is killed. From there, the novel literally goes into autopilot. Not only does Briganti hunt down the people who killed her, but kills anyone even remotely involved with the mob. Throw in some '70s stereotypes of Italians, crooked cops, voodoo practitioners and homosexuals that would make Paul Lynde look straight, and you have mindless entertainment that will be forgotten faster than read. TARGET: DOOMSDAY ISLAND by Nick Carter — This 1973 effort has to be one of the funniest Nick Carter adventures ever — not in the sense that the author threw in humor, but more of what Carter pretends to be and what goes on. The book is very early '70s, to the point that Nick's cover is that of a band manager with a groovy mustache. I'm totally serious: We are supposed to believe this badass super-spy is managing some rock act. I get the feeling Nick probably has a few T.Rex records. He is down with the youth culture and able to hang out with the youngsters. I think Chris Rock said it best: You don't want to be the old guy hanging out at the club. Well, that is exactly what Nick is here, but it just adds to the true cheesiness of this read. Nick investigates two islands down in the Caribbean, both owned by a multimillionaire who has embraced youth culture, having all these young kids come over to smoke pot and have orgies. But, of course, there is something truly sinister taking place. What did you expect, some labyrinthian mystery? This is Nick Carter, not Len Deighton. There is plenty of action that takes place throughout. Right from the start, Nick is in Action Man mode. I loved every single sentence of it. Sure, this series is about as taxing as the USA TODAY crossword, but isn't that the point to reading it? You want cheap thrills, plenty of gunplay and a hero who will come out at the end unscathed. THE PENETRATOR #23: DIVINE DEATH by Lionel Derrick — This is one of those series I keep meaning to revisit, but never got around to it. Well, that is about to change, because for my money, THE PENETRATOR is one of the better men's adventure series around. In this 1977 installment, The Penetrator — aka Mark Hardin — is a man on a mission of being a one-man A-TEAM. He shares a lot of the same characteristics of other people of this genre, namely Mack Bolan. But also throw in a little bit of American Indian blood, a penchant to leave arrowheads, and the help of his former professor, and you have this series in a nutshell. Even vigilante types like to have a vacation, which is what The Penetrator is on at the start. He is enjoying some downtime in Denver until he reads an article that catches his eye. A cop has been found killed in a fire, but the fire is not what killed him. This cop had infiltrated a new religious outfit called The Church of the Final Coming. Before you can say "front for some nefarious plot," our hero jumps into action. He starts by talking to one of the young girls who stands out front, explaining the church, which seems to make money from these ladies by offering their services to passersby. Most of the young people involved are also runaways and are brainwashed in a way. Throw in the typical toughs who take on Hardin, since they think he might be a cop; a reporter who discovers that Hardin is The Penetrator; a couple of girls who joined the church to see what all the fun is about, only to be stuck into a harem lifestyle; and a super-secret plot that's your typical "take out the world leaders" mumbo-jumbo. How will one man take all this down while also saving all the innocent? Read the book. It won't take much of your time, and most likely will make you grab a few others. Next time: my back pages. —Bruce Grossman Buy it at Amazon. OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF NICK CARTER: • CODE NAME: WEREWOLF by Nick Carter • DEADLY DOUBLES by Nick Carter • DEATH MESSAGE: OIL 74-2 by Nick Carter • DEEP SEA DEATH by Nick Carter • THE GOLDEN BULL by Nick Carter • HIDE AND GO DIE by Nick Carter • ICE TRAP TERROR by Nick Carter • THE KOREAN KILL by Nick Carter • MACAO by Nick Carter • THE OMEGA TERROR by Nick Carter • REVENGE OF THE GENERALS by Nick Carter • STRIKE FORCE TERROR by Nick Carter OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF LIONEL DERRICK: • THE PENETRATOR #6: TOKYO PURPLE by Lionel Derrick • THE PENETRATOR #9: DODGE CITY BOMBERS by Lionel Derrick • THE PENETRATOR #31: OKLAHOMA FIREFIGHT by Lionel Derrick OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF PETER MCCURTIN: • SOLDIER OF FORTUNE: BODY COUNT by Peter McCurtin

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