The best way to describe the weather in New England during the winter: a giant pain. Don’t get me wrong: I love snow and the cold. It’s the shoveling and driving in it that I hate. But what’s even worse is when the ice forms. So here’s my tribute to the time of year where I wish I could just hibernate.

ICE TRAP TERROR by Nick Carter – It’s the glorious return to this column of the McDonald’s of the spy genre – not too filling, but fills that void of action you crave. To say these books are disposable is an understatement; we’re not talking the high end of adventure, but I love them no matter what, since they are the best cleansing of a reading palette out there.

In this 1974 entry, the reader is dropped right into the action with what many would consider to be the climax of any other spy story, but here is just the start to the adventure. Nick Carter, our trusted agent of AXE, has infiltrated the stronghold of one Col. Zembla, who has made himself a giant weather-controlling machine. (I’m guessing he ripped off the idea from Simon Barsinister.) But instead of just blowing it up where they could rebuild, Nick uses an acid to eat through everything to destroy the entire project.

As soon as he finishes, he is captured and brought to the colonel, only to find out that there are four bases in total, all of which work on their own. And if one of them is knocked out, it will be a bigger headache since they were worked out to the precise degree. This causes all of Central America to now enter a new ice age.

How will Nick get his way out of this one? Here’s a clue: He’s Nick Carter – he can do anything. After the base is blown up, a badly hurt Nick goes about finding these other bases. Along the way, he is helped by a female KGB agent who is also a pilot. In the end, Nick saves the day and, of course, sleeps with the woman.

No real big surprises in this one, except for the stripper sequence Nick and the agent concoct to get close to one of the bases. To be honest, it’s not one of the stronger ones in the series, but for what little it takes to read them, you won’t mind.

ASSIGNMENT BLACK VIKING by Edward S. Aarons – Take the same premise from the Nick Carter book, make it a bit more literary and you have 1967’s ASSIGNMENT BLACK VIKING – not the whole plot, mind you, but the evil plan is pretty much the same, where you have a delusional lunatic under the belief he is some sort of reincarnation of a mythic hero with a weather machine causing havoc.

A huge plus: The cover shot actually happens in the book. That’s what made me grab this one out of the countless ASSIGNMENT books I own. For those unfamiliar with the series, Sam Durell is known as “the Cajun” to his friends; he works as an agent for the CIA. He is the sort of troubleshooter they send in to clean up the mess and investigate strange goings-on.

Durell is called upon a meeting in Europe, where it seems the head of every agency is there, all concerned. A meteorologist is present, too, with drastic news that someone is controlling the world’s weather, and a prominent scientist is missing. Could the two be tied together? Of course they are.

But Durell, the ever-loving loner, has to team up with various agents from a variety of agencies, including Sigrid, the girl he’s been sleeping with, but had no idea she also was an agent. Sigrid used to be married to the lunatic Olaf, who is actually in control of the weather machine, and he has a penchant for dressing up like a Viking.

The novel feels like a world atlas at certain points, with a brief history of whatever country Sam is in at the time. At other points, the action is a bit too slowed down compared to others in the series. Still, the fight scene where the cover is taken from makes the book worth it alone, and that’s not even the climax. Aaron’s ASSIGNMENTs are really easy to find in most used bookstores; I highly recommend any that you can get your hands on. They might seem a bit dated, but at least they deliver in adventure.

THE ICEMAN #5: SPINNING TARGET by Joseph Nazel – The ICEMAN series is best thought of as a blaxploitation film with an unlimited budget, but a limited vocabulary. I really enjoyed the first book in this series, since it was so over-the-top and fresh in its ideas. But with this fifth entry, from 1974, over-the-top is an understatement. But wow, I felt like I need a jive-to-English dictionary for most of it. Add a bunch of blatant stereotypes, and it makes SWEET SWEETBACK’S BAAADASSSSS SONG look like Shakespeare.

This time out, Iceman is hitting the Hollywood scene, since a childhood friend of his named Gwen Joyce is a rising singer and now a star of a movie. Trouble starts right away with an attempt made on his life with a bazooka. I guess in 1974, that would be the norm to kill a glorified pimp. The problem is, he was set up by Gwen, but just can’t believe it.

He digs deeper into the matter, but every time he tries to get close to Gwen, he is pushed away. She has a problem herself, involving drugs and being run into the ground by a syndicate trying to make a name for itself in the record business. Throw in more jive then a copy of PIMP by Iceberg Slim – a much better read, by the way – and you get the idea of how this book continues.

Once Iceman starts off on his killing spree to get the case solved, I shook my head in disbelief at the total disregard for any reality or authority. Look, I enjoyed it and wish I had more, but wow, did this one take a huge leap in just plain weirdness. It’s like having Ed McMahon as a bad guy in SLAUGHTER’S BIG RIPOFF. This book fits perfectly in that long lost world of the 1970s – just brush up on your lingo.

Next time: There will be blood … and horses! –Bruce Grossman

Buy it at Amazon.

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF EDWARD S. AARONS:
• ASSIGNMENT BANGKOK by Edward S. Aarons
• ASSIGNMENT BURMA GIRL by Edward S. Aarons
• ASSIGNMENT SCHOOL FOR SPIES by Edward S. Aarons
• ASSIGNMENT SORRENTO SIREN by Edward S. Aarons

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF NICK CARTER:
• DEADLY DOUBLES by Nick Carter
• HIDE AND GO DIE by Nick Carter
• MACAO by Nick Carter
• THE OMEGA TERROR by Nick Carter
• STRIKE FORCE TERROR by Nick Carter

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF JOSEPH NAZEL:
• THE ICEMAN #1: BILLION DOLLAR DEATH by Joseph Nazel