BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Dial H for Hero

Once again, I’ve used a title from a comic, only to disappoint those who think this column is going to be about four-color fun. We’ve done more than 200 of these things, so cut me some slack. Onto the three books that are covered: Fittingly, the first book does have some comic book ties. But all three do fit in the hero category. Well, maybe not the lead in the second one.

WEIRD HEROES: VOLUME 1 edited by Byron Preiss — Nothing quite like a great idea that fails in execution. From the start, 1975′s WEIRD HEROES sounds like such a great idea: Get a group of authors and match them up with artists to come up with a new breed of pulp heroes. From the introduction, you can see the wheels already coming off, since it was to be one huge collection before Preiss split them up, since it was too unwieldy.

I have a better suggestion: that they did a bit of pruning of the two volumes and just did one book. There is one true standout in this collection, from longtime comic writer/editor Archie Goodwin, whose Adam Stalker character falls into a superhero archetype, but without a costume or cape. The story is set around some secret organization bent on world power and based in Oklahoma. I mean, who the hell would ever want to reside in Oklahoma? Wait, Bookgasm HQ is there … Oklahoma is a fine place and a wonderful travel destination.

Preiss writes a story that deals with a time-traveling greaser from the future, with the artwork handled by Jim Steranko. It’s a strange story for a simple reason: It has not aged that well; technology is to blame. It has interesting ideas, but is a bit confusing at certain points. There is a discussion with Fritz Leiber about the old pulps, which has been covered in today’s Internet age at much greater length and with much better examples.

Closing out the collection is one of my favorite authors of my youth, Philip Jose Farmer, whose creation Greatheart Silver should have been given his own series. The whole conceit of the character is what happens to pulp heroes as they grow old. Farmer, of course, never uses the old heroes’ real names, but variations to most likely protect himself from copyrights. It’s amusing to see old versions of people who saw their heyday long behind them.

This is one of those collections that is a fun little read, if you can find it on the cheap, because only three stories are really worth it.

FLASHMAN IN THE GREAT GAME by George MacDonald Fraser — This long-running series runs on the idea of supposed historical fiction, in the sense we are to believe Fraser found documents — which he dubs “the Flashman Papers” — detailing the life and times of a British officer named Flashman.

Flashman was originally a character in an 1857 book, Thomas Hughes’ TOM BROWN’S SCHOOLDAYS, in which he was pretty much a bully. So what Fraser did was take that character and make him a sort of coward and braggart who gets caught up in specific historic events, whether he wants to be involved or not.

From 1975, THE GREAT GAME deals with the India uprisings of the mid-1850s. What makes it really fun is how much of a coward Flashman truly is and how lucky he gets by escaping various episodes. Unlike the previous books, he actually does some heroic things here. Fraser uses real people as characters, making it feel as though Flashman actually existed — a joke which Fraser uses to great effect in the introduction.

The basics of this story find Flashman once again at the wrong end of a weapon or two. This time, it’s a cannon about to blow him to kingdom come, since it’s believed that he is part of the mutineers. This series is very much tongue-in-cheek history, while the events depicted are true; in this one, some of those moments are dark parts of British history. Funny enough, the story ends with Flashman finding out about a book just published, titled TOM BROWN’S SCHOOLDAYS.

BLADE #1: THE BRONZE AXE by Jeffrey Lord — A pastiche by any other name is still a pastiche. That’s the best way to describe this long-running series. I was amazed to find out just how long-running: 37 books. From what I understand, all of them follow the same pattern: Richard Blade is a spy who works for MI6. In every book, he is magically transported to another dimension, courtesy of a computer hooked up to his brain. So already, we have some John Carter of Mars and James Bond. But it does not stop there — you also get a tiny drop of Mark Twain and a huge helping of Conan, especially in this 1969 start.

Blade is transported to a planet that seems right out of a Frank Frazetta painting. He is ready for the ensuing fight with the natives with a two-handed broadsword, all because of a willing princess who needs his help. Yeah, this book is pretty much a male fantasy, with an always willing female ready to offer herself up once Blade has vanquished his foes.

To make sense of this plot is to read any fantasy that came out in the 1970s. There is nothing — and I do mean nothing — to keep a reader engaged besides the sex and violence. I mean, the sides of vans have better storylines. What’s even worse is that it’s so poorly plotted; you see where the book is going so far down the road, it’s comical. What, an evil queen who wants to have Blade killed by her strongest man? I’m shocked! What’s next, Blade wins all his fights and then magically ends up back on Earth?

That’s exactly what happens. And than this sequence is pretty much repeated for the whole series. The BLADEs were written by a group of authors, with the first eight by Manning Lee Stokes. I actually have a stack of these that I picked up at a library sale on the cheap, so at some point, I’ll see what happens to ol’ Richard Blade. But I get the feeling I’ll figure it all out within the first 40 pages. —Bruce Grossman

Buy them at Amazon.

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF BYRON PREISS:
• THE ULTIMATE FRANKENSTEIN edited by Byron Preiss
• YEAR’S BEST GRAPHIC NOVELS, COMICS & MANGA edited by Byron Preiss and Howard Zimmerman

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Tagged as: bullets & broads