BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Cheap Costume Ideas

Just in time for Halloween, I give you some last-minute costume ideas, all of which can be probably done with stuff you already have in your closet. Most people will just think you came in your street clothes. But again, since this is the Halloween column, we do have to have a book with a monster or two in it. CONSPIRACIES by F. Paul Wilson — Do you have some jeans and a nondescript T-shirt and maybe a baseball cap? If so, you can go as none other than Repairman Jack. (Hey, folks, I said these ideas were cheap!) It's really funny to read an earlier book in this series since I've reviewed later ones, so I know where Jack will end up; also, you see major seeds being sown. This 2000 one is actually the third of the series, and the one where everything really starts to be mapped out for Jack and the overarching storyline. Jack is hired by a man named Lew, whose wife has gone missing. Lew has been contacted by his spouse in a strange way: through his TV. Jack is not one to take a job like this, but Lew is insistent, especially when he explains that his wife is part of the tinfoil-hat brigade and was set to give a keynote speech at a big convention of the paranoid conspiracy nuts. From the outset, Jack is just a bit freaked out by this bunch, especially the head of the group who has some bizarre, monkey-like pet that seems to be able to communicate with his master. The novel really sets the long story arc into effect, since Jack learns all about the Otherness and the weird occurrences that it might be connected with. There is a bit of a subplot, with Jack dealing with an abusive husband, just to keep the story in reality, since the main focus gets "out there." For new readers, it's easy to follow, but you still might want to read THE TOMB first. THE DESTROYER #33: VOODOO DIE by Warren Murphy and Richard Sapir — You just need a pair of chinos or khakis, a pair of black shoes and a simple black T-shirt, and voila! You're Remo Williams! If you want to go the pricey route, find a kimono and go as Chiun. Another entry in the long-running and sadly missed DESTROYER series, this 1978 entry finds our intrepid heroes go down to a banana republic to destroy a deadly machine that uses a plentiful drug called "mug" to turn men into puddles of goo. The story is filled with plenty of that humor you come to expect from this series, especially when Remo and Chiun are constantly attacked by other agents after this machine, all the while Chiun is trying to watch his precious soaps. This novel is where a certain nails-on-the-chalkboard character is introduced: one Ruby Gonzalez. Just imagine Rosie Perez times 100, and it still does not hit how annoying she was. Thankfully, she was short-lived. Back to the story at hand, where President Carter very reluctantly employs Remo to take care of not only disposing of the deadly machine, but also to take out the leader El Presidente Corazon, who seems to be every stereotype of a lunatic generalissimo type, to the point he tests out the weapon on anyone in his sight who might be against him, including sleeping soldiers. It's a light read that flies by with plenty of action pieces to keep readers wanting more. The only slight problem is the use of zombies at the end, which seems a bit tacked-on. Still, zombies make everything better —  just ask Marvel Comics. DOC SAVAGE: THE MYSTIC MULLAH by Kenneth Robeson — Dig through the closet and find a bunch of old Banana Republic gear. A safari suit would be perfect — if ripped, even better. Then you can head out as Doc Savage. For those who want to go full-force, a bit of bronzer would help. Finishing out this column of Halloween is none other than my favorite pulp hero: Doc Savage. This 1935 book could easily fit into the category of my first pulp. It's a great introduction to not only the pulp world, but the whole Doc Savage output. It really has so much going for it throughout the whole story, which deals with a ghost-like character named Mullah. He is a giant face that appears in the air, scaring the crap out anyone who comes in contact with it. Of course, we all know there are no such things as ghosts, so Doc is determined to figure out who is behind it all. Kenneth Roberson — aka Lester Dent — gives a list of suspects that could easily be the brains behind the whole operation. (Parts of the Mullah idea were hijacked for that way too cheesy DOC SAVAGE: THE MAN OF BRONZE movie — namely, the cartoon-like snakes that appear out of smoke.) This would not be a full-on pulp adventure without a hidden city, and there is a beauty in this one: a walled city called Tanan that is near Tibet and populated by men who still think it's the Middle Ages, what with all the swords and dead bodies laying about. The latter are used as deterrents so everyone will follow the Mullah's rule. All of Doc's men appear in this adventure, but like most of the other books, Monk and Ham are the two who take center stage throughout the story with Doc. Now, Doc is not yet the superhero-like figure that Dent would make him later on. People get hurt in big ways and the action is par for the course. The story just shows why Doc is still re-read to this day. Sure, some portions might be dated, but there is one thing guaranteed reading a Doc Savage book: You get your money's worth. Next time: Wait, I thought they only put out romances. —Bruce Grossman Buy them at Amazon. OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF LESTER DENT: • DOC SAVAGE: FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE / THE DEVIL GENGHIS by Kenneth Robeson • DOC SAVAGE #10: THE PHANTOM CITY by Kenneth Robeson • DOC SAVAGE #19: PIRATE OF THE PACIFIC by Kenneth Robeson • DOC SAVAGE: THE CZAR OF FEAR by Kenneth Robeson • DOC SAVAGE: THE SPOOK LEGION by Kenneth Robeson • HONEY IN HIS MOUTH by Lester Dent OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF THE DESTROYER SERIES: • THE BEST OF THE DESTROYER by Warren Murphy and Richard Sapir • THE DESTROYER #5: DR. QUAKE by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #6: DEATH THERAPY by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #9: MURDER'S SHIELD by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #10: TERROR SQUAD by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #11: KILL OR CURE by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #13: ACID ROCK by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #14: JUDGMENT DAY by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #15: MURDER WARD by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #17: LAST WAR DANCE by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #18: FUNNY MONEY by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #19: HOLY TERROR by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #22: BRAIN DRAIN by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #23: CHILD'S PLAY by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #24: KING'S CURSE by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #26: IN ENEMY HANDS by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #30: MUGGER BLOOD by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #32: KILLER CHROMOSOMES by Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #38: BAY CITY BLAST by Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #39: MISSING LINK by Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #41: FIRING LINE by Warren Murphy and Richard Sapir • THE DESTROYER #45: SPOILS OF WAR by Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #46: NEXT OF KIN by Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #48: PROFIT MOTIVE by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #49: SKIN DEEP by Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #52: FOOL'S GOLD by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #55: MASTER'S CHALLENGE by Will Murray • THE DESTROYER #56: ENCOUNTER GROUP by Warren Murphy and Will Murray • THE DESTROYER #67: LOOK INTO MY EYES by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy • THE DESTROYER #78: BLUE SMOKE AND MIRRORS by Will Murray • THE DESTROYER #89: DARK HORSE by Will Murray • THE DESTROYER #104: ANGRY WHITE MAILMEN by Will Murray • THE DESTROYER #145: DRAGON BONES by Tim Somheil • THE NEW DESTROYER: CHOKE HOLD by Warren Murphy and James Mullaney • THE NEW DESTROYER: DEAD RECKONING by Warren Murphy and James Mullaney • THE NEW DESTROYER: GUARDIAN ANGEL by Warren Murphy and James Mullaney OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF WARREN MURPHY: • GRANDMASTER by Warren Murphy • TRACE: GETTING UP WITH FLEAS by Warren Murphy OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF F. PAUL WILSON: • AFTERSHOCK & OTHERS: 19 ODDITIES by F. Paul Wilson • ALL THE RAGE by F. Paul Wilson • BLOODLINE by F. Paul Wilson • F. PAUL WILSON'S THE KEEP by F. Paul Wilson and Matthew Smith • GROUND ZERO by F. Paul Wilson • HOSTS by F. Paul Wilson • LEGACIES by F. Paul Wilson

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