Ms. Book Whore slinks into the bookstore, leading you by the hand. Not that you need any leading – she looks like she’s been poured into her dress, and you’re as thirsty as a survivor in the Sahara.
“You’re so mysterious,” you say.
“If you think I’m mysterious, wait’ll you get a load of the hot goods I’m going to show you,” she says.
This makes your eager mouth water, your extremities tingle. This, you think, is going to be awesome.
As if she can read your thoughts, she says, “It is. And now for the pearl … Matthew Pearl.”
“Uh, excuse me?”
“Matthew Pearl, author of the 2003 bestseller THE DANTE CLUB? He’s finally followed it up today with THE POE SHADOW, which is about a Poe fanatic consulting the real-life model for Poe’s detective character Dupin to investigate Poe’s death. And if that’s not enough Poe for the soul this week, the Modern Library is tying into it with THE MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE: THE DUPIN TALES. That contains all three of Poe’s classic Dupin short stories, with Pearl editing and providing a new introduction, natch.”
“I seem to remember something about that ‘Rue Morgue’ story,” you recall. “I’m not sure. I’ll think about it. Go on.”
“With pleasure,” she coos. “You ready for the big boom, big boy?”
“Am I ever!” you exclaim. You can’t even contain your smile.
“Close your eyes,” she instructs. You comply. You feel something slip into your hands. “Now open.”
It’s THE BIG BOOM by Dominic Stansberry.
She ignores your disappointment. “If you’re looking for noir, there’s a man who knows his stuff. He wrote THE CONFESSION, by the way, for Hard Case Crime. Won an Edgar. And for other top-notch mystery writers, you can’t go wrong with THE DETECTION COLLECTION, edited by Simon Brett. With 11 all-new stories, it’s a who’s who of British suspense. P.D. James. Colin Dexter. Regin–”
“Oh, now I remember!” you say, snapping your fingers. “‘Rue Morgue!’ Isn’t that the one with the–”
“Killer gorilla?” Ms. Book Whore asks rhetorically, finishing your sentence, just as a hairy, hulking primate bursts through the self-help shelf and slashes your throat with a straight razor, killing you instantly.
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