We’re gonna have a TV party tonight, alright. You should all know how the rest of this little ditty goes — hell, even Emilio Estevez does. The three books covered today are based on shows I remember seeing on my screen growing up, either as first-run stuff or — for two of them — in syndication.

CYBORG by Martin Caidin — Was there a cooler toy growing up than THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN action figure? (Well, maybe the evil robot figure from the show — sure not the Oscar Goldman one.) This 1972 novel was used as the basis of the ultimate ’70s TV viewing as a kid. What is so surprising is how dark in tone the book is.

We all know the basics, which did not change much in the translation: Astronaut Steve Austin is testing out a new plane when it crashes horrifically, leaving him with only one limb attached. The doctors know that they can save him — blah blah blah — and $6 million later, he becomes a tool and “project” of a government organization named OSO.

Two-thirds of the book deal with making Austin the bionic man he will become. But once he becomes active, the first thing he tries to do is kill himself. I don’t remember that from the show, do you? The story moves along fairly quick and reads super-fast, once Austin is set in his job and sent to the Middle East, where he has two missions, the more difficult being stealing a new plane that the Russians have developed.

For anyone who grew up watching the show and wearing a red jumpsuit, this book is a fantastic read. But be forewarned: His powers are not the same as in the series; in other words, his eye is only a camera — not some cool telescope.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE #2: CODE NAME: JUDAS by Max Walker — Long before it became a bloated summer movie series, MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE was a TV show starring that guy from A&E’s BIOGRAPHY who really seems to like gladiator movies. Much like the series, this 1968 book follows the same premise of Jim Phelps being given a mission from a tape recording that will self-destruct.

The novel continues to follow the format of the show in a big way, right down to Phelps going through a dossier of photos of people he will use for this dangerous mission. For those who remember, that will be the twosome who later headed into space to work on a moon base, a big lunkhead and an electronics whiz. Their mission — which they always choose to accept — is to find and capture a super-secret spy named Atlas.

Atlas not only used to work for the Russians, but has a photographic mind and is missing a nose. Yeah, no wonder they never used that premise on TV; besides that, this could have easily have been used for an episode plot. It all takes place in Geneva, where the team is split up to try to locate this deadly agent, which is not ever easy. I mean, the series was called MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE.

There is, of course, a group of rival agents looking for Atlas. One of Phelps’ men is put into a bind really quick in the story. JUDAS is passable — nothing groundbreaking for the spy genre, but for anyone who watched the show, this is a nice little read.

THE AVENGERS: TOO MANY TARGETS by John Peel and Dave Rogers — Here’s a super-sweet treat. Don’t let the bland-looking cover turn you off, because this 1990 novel is for all AVENGERS fans, whether you were a fan of Emma Peel or Tara King, since everyone of Steed’s assistants — and I do mean everyone — from the original series makes an appearance and has a part to play. Yeah, even David Keel, in this loving tribute to a series that got royally screwed on the big screen.

Someone is killing off some of Steed’s fellow agents, with the finger being pointed directly at Steed and his boss Mother. Tara King is under the belief that Steed is the agent who went bad, while Steed is off on his own, looking into the fact that maybe his boss has gone rogue.

But that is only one small part of the story. We are introduced to some of Steed’s former friends, each of whom are investigating another part of the puzzle. It seems the book is based around the time when Steed and King were partnered up. But don’t fret, fans, since Steed meets up with Emma Peel for the bulk of the story. Who is behind the killings and how is it possible that someone who resembles Steed so perfectly tries to kill Tara King?

Again, this book really is a treat for longtime fans, since the enemy is none other than a fan favorite that most people will figure out once the word “robot” is uttered. I can’t stress how much fun and enjoyable this book was. It builds upon the show’s premise to glorious heights. It’s just really sad that this book was not used instead of just ripping off an old episode plot for the big-time movie that had none of the charm of the series. But Uma Thurman did look way hot in that catsuit.

Next time: They got questions. —Bruce Grossman

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