Because time isn’t always kind: economic reviews in a world full of waste!
Following ASK A NINJA, another Internet phenomenon in my “do not get” file? Those damned “LOLcats,” who now have their very own book in I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? A LOLCAT COLLECKSHUN, written by — wait for it — Professor Happycat. Ahem. Brave and bold admission: I hate cats. And that may very well be why I don’t find photos of kitties with purposely misspelled captions funny, cute or amusing. I’ve tried, really, but I’m “epic fail” in that department; suffice to say, if you love them online, you’ll love them here. The editor in me wants to correct every capitalization and grammatical error, so you can see how I just don’t get the point. Hiss away, if you must; I’ll have my spray bottle handy in defense. But if you bring out the claws, I’m tossing you in the tub. Yes, you can “has” bath.
Middle-school would-be superspies Cass and Max-Ernest return in Pseudonymous Bosch’s IF YOU’RE READING THIS, IT’S TOO LATE, the self-deprecating sequel to last year’s THE NAME OF THIS BOOK IS SECRET. Here, the nefarious Dr. L and Ms. Mauvais kidnap the kids, thinking they know the whereabouts of “the Homunculus.” They don’t, but they escape, taking with them the glass ball “Sound Prism” that the villains stole from the Museum of Magic. Our young-adult duo cracks codes and investigates the whereabouts of the dwarf called “Cabbage Face” to get in good with the Terces Society and save the day. Bosch again interrupts chapters for pop quizzes and startling admissions, but should have recounted the events of SECRET to get old readers up to speed, while initiating new ones. This volume isn’t as tightly focused or as much fun overall, but it’s a pleasant diversion that’ll keep the kids’ noses buried … and that’s a good thing indeed.
THE CURIOUS WORLD OF DRUGS AND THEIR FRIENDS: A VERY TRIPPY MISCELLANY may as well be called THE BOOK OF LISTS: DRUGS, because that’s essentially what it is. The digest-sized collection delivers a dose of wickedly addictive lists, such as the alcohol problems of past presidents, rockers who O.D.’d at the age of 27, dumbest drug movies (how’d TRAINSPOTTING land here?), fake drugs from literature (from Snow Crash to Kryptonite), horrific PCP stories (swallowed own penis, anyone?), drug-free ways to get high, jazz musicians arrested for drug offenses and proof that Sherlock Holmes was a cokehead. The “how-to” items (rolling joints, making cocaine packets) are a bit much, but the 15-year charts on the price of coke and heroin are welcome. And so is this quote from rapper Eminem: “Never take ecstasy, beer, Bacardi, weed, Pepto Bismol, Vivarin, Tums, Tagamet HB, Xanax and Valium in the same day. It makes it difficult to sleep at night.” Duly noted.
The spawn of The Fantastic Four’s Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman gets into a variety of five-page misadventures in FRANKLIN RICHARDS: SON OF A GENIUS – COLLECTED CHAOS. Rounding up four (naturally) one-shots, the Marvel Comics digest finds the prepubescent mischief-maker devolving family members, shrinking to subatomic level, experimenting with hair tonic, gaining Spider-Man powers, communicating with monkeys, fighting over a candy bar with Hulk, encountering a yeti, running from a dinosaur, becoming a burp monster and even traveling through time, all to the dismay of robot pal H.E.R.B.I.E. Chris Eliopoulos’ cartoon art is what makes these simple stories so pleasurable. —Rod Lott
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