As a three-time father myself (my sperm rules!), I’ve received my fair share of parenting tips – from both my mom and complete strangers – none of which were either helpful or asked for. Alice Beaven can sympathize, and goes one better by actually compiling all those nosy nuturing intrusions in the tongue-in-cheek (and downright cheeky) THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO UNINVITED ADVICE ON RAISING CHILDREN.
Divided into sections like “Potty Training,” “Health” and “Academic Ambition,” Beaven’s slim volume gives one page apiece to each unsolicited bit. These include a remedy for rubbing goose fat on your child’s flesh as a homeopathic cure, a suggestion that toilet habits should begin at birth and the notion that the only toys a kid needs are a spoon and a saucepan. I don’t know where exactly Beaven found such advice (she’s vague on her sources), but that’s neither here nor there. What makes UNINVITED ADVICE amusing are the vintage Victorian illustrations (with the occasional chart and/or graph) that accompany each “expert” opinion, with Beaven’s mostly humorous captions. If you recall MAD magazine’s occasional foray into the same, you’ve got a pretty good idea of what to expect.
The book is very British, so a few of the jokes sailed right over this Yankee’s head, but it’s all inoffensive and not without its dry charms. The whole thing can be read in about 10 minutes, so this is more of a gift for the expectant parent than an essential addition to your collection. –Rod Lott
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