Oh, those folks over at McSweeney’s! Aren’t they just so heart-crushingly clever, making up long book titles like NOISY OUTLAWS, UNFRIENDLY BLOBS, AND SOME OTHER THINGS THAT AREN’T AS SCARY, MAYBE, DEPENDING ON HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LOST LANDS, STRAY CELLPHONES, CREATURES FROM THE SKY, PARENTS WHO DISAPPEAR IN PERU, A MAN NAMED LARS FARF, AND ONE OTHER STORY WE COULDN’T QUITE FINISH, SO MAYBE YOU COULD HELP US OUT? No, not really. But at least there’s a fun anthology lying directly beneath that needlessly pretentious title.
Basically a children’s book for adults, NOISY OUTLAWS collects 11 short stories, all of which are illustrated but none of which – so Lemony Snicket proclaims in his hilarious introduction – are “tedious.” To prove his point, he gives numerous examples of excerpts from tedious stories (“I have an adorable announcement!” cried the King of Teddy Bear Land. “In honor of Princess Buttercup’s marriage to Prince Appletree, we will have a Teddy Bear parade throughout the Town Square, which happens to be made of candy!”).
Mr. Snicket’s almost right, as one story qualifies for tediousness, but more on that later. HIGH FIDELITY’s Nick Hornby kicks things off with a story about an introverted kid in the world’s smallest country being forced to play football. Kelly Link weighs in with the summer-camp tale “Monster,” amusing even if its end is so abrupt. STINKY CHEESE MAN creator Jon Scieszka creates the brief “Each Sold Separately” using advertising taglines for dialogue, while James Kochalka’s “Spoony-E & Spandy-3 vs. the Purple Hordes” is the volume’s lone (and most welcome) comic.
Jonathan Safran Foer is represented by the New York fable “The Sixth Borough” – an excerpt from his current book, EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE, but here complete with a full-color fold-out map. There are a couple of reprints, including Richard Kennedy’s clever “The Contests at Cowlick” from 1975 and Clement Freud’s 1968-penned “Grimble,” about a boy left alone for a week by his absentee parents. Both fit right in with the lighthearted and oft-kilter tone of the rest of the book. Only Neil Gaiman’s original “Sunbird” sticks out as a sore spot. Detailing the efforts of five epicurians looking to ingest something they’ve never tasted before, it’s more boring than engaging. This is surprising, given how often Gaiman excels at the tough-to-crack short-fiction format.
The book also contains a crossword puzzle and an unfinished Snicket story on the flipside of the book jacket that you’re asked to complete and mail in for fabulous prizes. But then you’d be robbing yourself of a perfectly good Chip Kidd cover! And who needs 11 pounds of chocolate and 600 tiny glass bottles, anyway?
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