Because time isn’t always kind: economic reviews in a world full of waste!

24 DECLASSIFIED: CAT’S CLAW is only the fourth original novel in the 24 franchise, but it’s beginning to show serious strain. John Whitman – who also wrote the second one, VETO POWER – this time pits CTU freedom fighter Jack Bauer against a foreign terrorist (yawn) who plans to unleash a deadly virus (yawn). Bauer is in full badass mode as usual – even undergoing 30 minutes of dialysis treatment (!) in the midst of his saving the world – but for a novel that claims to be “original,” it sure feels like covered territory – if not in the previous books, then the TV series. Bauer’s cougar-attracting daughter Kim figures heavily into the plot for once; take that as you will. I’m not giving up on the DECLASSIFIED line just yet, as their short chapters make for ideal reading within short timespans, whether that be waiting in line at the post office or voiding your bowels.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, there’s Rudy Rucker’s novel MATHEMATICIANS IN LOVE, a trippy-dippy sci-fi rom-com for any love of your life owning a slide rule. I was fully attracted to Rucker’s premise – two math geeks vie for the affections of the same woman, using numbers and equations as their weapons – but it didn’t play to its potential, in my opinion. Instead, it gets too jokey; for example, one character goes to get “squid pizza,” which is one of those unnecessary flourishes that come off as trying to hard, as too wacky for its own narrative good. If you can imagine Neal Stephenson trying to write a cute sitcom, you’re maybe halfway there.

In simple math, the BIG BOOK OF HORROR equals all three of the LITTLE BOOK OF HORROR entries put together into one slick volume. IDW Publishing had hot horror scribe Steve Niles adapt a triumvirate of classic genre novels into beautifully illustrated books, but this trade collection is the best way to appreciate and enjoy them. Niles’ BIG BOOK is comprised of adaptations of Mary Shelley’s FRANKENSTEIN, H.G. Wells’ THE WAR OF THE WORLDS and Bram Stoker’s DRACULA, with painted art from Scott Morse, Ted McKeever and Richard Sala, respectively. Each artist puts his own stamp on the work, but Morse’s surreal, almost-chalk-looking art is the most beautiful, with interesting color choices one wouldn’t expect for such a tale. Niles really streamlines each novel into a minimum of words, which comes off as childlike (to where you can’t even tell it’s written by him – i.e. “Now I’m going to suck your blood!”), but I think this was meant less to be read and more to be a visual feast. In that aspect, the three courses will leave you satisfied.

It’s rather sad that Mark Ribowsky’s 1989 bio HE’S A REBEL – PHIL SPECTOR: ROCK & ROLL’S LEGENDARY PRODUCER is back in a newly updated edition – not because it’s not worthy of print (because it is), but because the tragic death of B-movie actress Lana Clarkson is its reason for being. As Spector still awaits trial for her 2003 murder, Ribowsky gives perhaps the most complete account of that never-shoulda-happened night I’ve yet read. (Media reports just don’t do the scope justice.) It’s too bad that Spector’s legacy as a genius producer forever will be tainted – regardless of the verdict – by the crime, guilty or not. In hindsight, given Spector’s bizarre behavior of the past – all detailed here – one shouldn’t be surprised.

As you’ll see clearly in SHOWCASE PRESENTS GREEN ARROW: VOLUME 1, the super-skilled archer is modeled after Batman. But instead of a utility belt full of gadgets, he’s got a gaggle of arrows, each with a different, ludicrous purpose: a glue arrow, a rope arrow, a balloon arrow, ad nauseam. Green Arrow’s secret identity is that of a rich bachelor, who lives with his young ward Speedy, who not only fights crime beside him, but sleeps in the bed next to him. Eyebrows raised? Is it accidental Green Arrow is named Oliver Queen? Together, they get into all sorts of trouble, from angering a tribe of Native Americans to time-warping back into the days of King Arthur. It’s all harmless, of course, but also one of DC’s most repetitive books from that era. Each six- or seven-page story – most backup features from ADVENTURE COMICS – follows the exact same trajectory: 1. Problem arises. 2. Special trick arrow is fired. 3. All is well. –Rod Lott

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OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF THIS SERIES:
• 24 DECLASSIFIED: OPERATION HELL GATE by Marc Cerasini
• 24 DECLASSIFIED: TROJAN HORSE by Marc Cerasini
• 24 DECLASSIFIED: VETO POWER by John Whitman