LOUIS’ SERIOUS ISSUES >> 7.10.07

Scouring out the weekly singles scene … in comics!

For the final installment of three solid days of SERIOUS ISSUES, we look our recent indie comics efforts.

TERMINATOR 2: INFINITY #1 (Dynamite Entertainment) While the continuity of this book is a bit off-putting technically – since it takes place after the events of TERMINATOR 3, it should be TERMINATOR 3: INFINITY, right? — it’s still a pretty kick-ass book, filled with post-apocalyptic action as a young John Connor breaks loose of his underground bunker (oh, sorry if you haven’t seen T3 – so, um, spoiler alert, I guess) to find not only the world in ruins, but the new T-Infinity, a samurai-looking Terminator with glowing blades, which may or may not be a dream. This is the type of fast-paced, action-filled storytelling I like in my movie tie-ins! I am desperately awaiting the next issue.

CHUCKY (Devil’s Due Publishing) But I can honestly say I’m not awaiting the next issue of CHUCKY. So far, three issues in, and “horror master” Brian Pulido (I’m sure that’s a self-appointed moniker) has really done nothing but had Chucky chase naked chicks around while making bad jokes. It’s a pretty sad day when you can’t even live up to the oh-so-lofty standards of SEED OF CHUCKY.

VOODOO CHILD (Virgin) Speaking of lofty standards, do you have any when you see the name “Nicolas Cage” above the title? Sadly, I do. So I picked up Weston Cage (his son) and Nicolas Cage’s VOODOO CHILD from the fledgling Virgin Comics imprint, which has bagged such big-name comic legends as Guy Ritchie and Deepak Chopra – yes, that Deepak Chopra.

This latest comic is alright; Cage is a well-known comic fan with a stellar knowledge of the art, and it shows in VOODOO CHILD. Problem is, the book is so muddled with ideas and no direction that it suffers to the point of causing the reader to be lost within five pages, especially when the story moves from 1860 to modern-day Katrina-ravaged New Orleans. I have no idea what the point of the book is, but I’m willing to give it another go.

TALES FROM THE CRYPT #1 (Papercutz/EC) and GENE SIMMONS’ HOUSE OF HORRORS #1 (IDW) If there’s one thing we love here at BOOKGASM, it’s horror anthologies. You give us a collection of four-color horror tales and we’ll give you an immediate review of them. It’s kinda what we do. So boy, was I ever happy to not only find one, but two new horror anthology titles: one a throwback to the classic days of EC, and the other, the latest moneymaking attempt for the pussy-hound bass player of KISS.

First off, I love classic TALES FROM THE CRYPT comics. Who doesn’t? From the classic artwork from the likes of Wally Wood to the super-clever, ironic storytelling, just about every story EC put into their horror titles was a classic. So right there, you’re faced with a Gus Van Sant-remaking-PSYCHO problem if you’re going to bring the title back: Not only do you have to live up to the stories of the past, but also to the high expectations of current horror fans.

And boy, does the new CRYPT ever fall flat on its face. This is a pretty terrible book that really doesn’t deserve to have that title. Instead of numerous short stories, we’re given two rather lame, tedious long ones: one about zombie paintings and the other about a toy collector, both pure throwaways. And if the storytelling wasn’t bad enough, the art is simply atrocious, trying to aim for indie-personal comics-style cartoonishness. In the ’50s, parents declared CRYPT garbage for its content. So, I guess more than 50 years later, I’m doing it again.

But – and I can’t believe I am saying this – Gene Simmons has got it right. GENE SIMMONS’ HOUSE OF HORRORS should be the blueprint for all future horror comics, anthology or not. Love or hate Simmons, the man knows his horror.

Bookended with him as your cheesy host, it moves into some genuinely creepy terror-tory, especially with the impressive “Crude,” about a natural resource of horror soldiers find in Iraq, and the brutally atmospheric “Circle Seven,” about a scientist spelunking into Hell. There’s even a bizarre one that mixes aliens and Aleister Crowley.

All the stories are short and sweet, with writers and artwork that is actually beautifully varied and fitting. But here’s the catch: Besides the fact that many people can’t stand Simmons, the book also has a cover price of $9.99. It’s kind of fitting, considering the Simmons Comics Group logo is a bag of money, but you know what? Fuck it. It’s totally worth it. At least he knows how to at least pack a book with value. The ends certainly justify the means in this case.

And here are some not-so-good freebies…

THE 99 SPECIAL: ORIGINS (Teshkeel) Teshkeel is a Middle Eastern-centric comic group, with stories featuring characters of that decent. That’s great, but this book is so incredibly boring, I literally fell asleep when reading it. I’m getting drowsy just writing about it.

JAGUAR RAIN #1 (ND) Sweet Jesus, where do I even start? The atrocious artwork? The God-awful dialogue? The Heinlein-on-retard-pills storyline? The latent homoeroticism? I’m all for kids starting their own books and putting them out – I have raved about ones that I’ve loved right here in this column – but there’s no way around it: These guys need to get out of the business immediately. (Also, a note to the creators: It’s a good idea not to try to look tough by wearing a bulletproof vest and dangling a cigarette from your lips when you look like doughy accountants. It doesn’t work. At all.)

And please, don’t forget to pick up these perennial SERIOUS ISSUES indie faves:

THE LONE RANGER #6-7 (Dynamite) No doubt about it: The best comic being published today is still THE LONE RANGER. Keep it up, guys. –Louis Fowler

Buy it at Amazon.