For one of the most bizarre costume parties out there, we’re keeping tradition established by last Halloween’s column and covering nothing but short stories. This time, it’s three diverse collections, with some new takes on the Lovecraft mythos, Donald Hamilton picking a few Westerns and, finally, another one of those Alfred Hitchcock collections.
THE NEW LOVECRAFT CIRCLE edited By Robert M. Price – This 1996 collection is comprised of 25 short stories printed in various zines and chapbooks, most notably Crypt of Cthulhu. They run the full gamut from some truly good stuff to some utter dreck. Those who are expecting some carbon copies of H.P. Lovecraft’s writing, look elsewhere. These tales are in his vein – with some even referencing the man himself – more about taking some of his ideas and running with them.
Some standouts should be pointed out. First is “The Statement of One John Gibson” by Brian Lumley, where our narrator finds out who his real daddy is, all the while documenting the discovery on audio tape. This by itself is well the worth the read alone. Following are two stories using the same characters by two different authors: First is David Sutton’s “Demonical,” about two boys who buy a record and try out the rituals listed on the artwork – not a bright idea. Right after, Lumley provides a follow-up called “The Kiss of Bugg-Shash,” which goes on to explain the consequences of what the boys have brought. Both are humorous in their ways. If only all the Yes fans were this gullible.
Lin Carter’s “The Fishers of Outside” tells the story of a man who searches for an ancient race through some of the books in his library when he makes a truly gruesome discovery of a previous seeker of these old ones. Our hero figures it’s best to quit while ahead. Another that fulfills on the Lovecraft front is John Glasby’s “The Keeper of Dark Point,” where our narrator tells of the disappearance of a former friend, and his family pact. This totally apes the Lovecraft style and delivers.
I grew up reading Alan Dean Foster, so I knew I was in for a treat with “The Horror on the Beach,” which deals with a family moving into a new shoreline home and the strange music they hear at night. When they start poking around, they find that these singers are a bit more sinister than just some wacky cult. Following this is another in the music vein: Richard A. Lupoff’s “The Whisperers.” It follows two high school students as they go off to interview a band on Dagon Records whose new album is called CTHULHU. Yeah, it’s pretty obvious where this is going and what the band has planned for the world when their new album comes out.
There are plenty of other enjoyable stories in this tome, but I’d be remiss if I did not mention the two huge clunkers. Talk about falling-on-your-face writing. As enjoyable as “The Whisperers” was, the second Lupoff tale comes off as a third-rate Douglas Adams joke in “Lights! Camera! Shub-Niggurath!,” a futuristic tale of a galactic movie studio wanting to make THE DUNWICH HORROR and their search for the perfect actor to play the lead. All the jokes fail on a massive level and the story drags on way too long.
Then there is the parody tale “The Slitherer of the Slime” by H. P. Lowcraft – or, according to the copyright, Carter and Dave Foley. Again, it tries hard with the humor of the narrator being in a library with some truly scary texts such as WINNIE THE POOH. I see what they were trying to do, but they tried too hard and forced the humor, which never works.
In the end, I enjoyed the book. If you’re familiar with most of the writers, you’ll really enjoy it, but don’t expect the second coming of AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS.
IRON MEN AND SILVER STARS edited by Donald Hamilton – Now who didn’t dress like a cowboy during Halloween once in their lives? This 1967 collection deals mainly with the law of the Old West, which really limits its scope. The primary reason I grabbed this book is, of course, Donald Hamilton’s name. I didn’t realize when I got it that he just edited the volume, with only one of his stories included.
So it’s sad to report on the whole, this is not the first collection I would suggest to get a Western fix. Since it’s so black-and-white, it becomes very bland, but there are a few gems scattered throughout.
First and foremost, you get Hamilton’s introduction where he slams book snobs for putting down Zane Grey and like-minded readers. In “In the Line of Duty,” Elmer Keaton deals with a Texas Ranger who has to bring in a former partner. Yeah, I know its a story that’s been told to death, but Kelton gives us characters who understand their jobs and the circumstances of their actions.
Following is “Peace Officer” by Brian Garfield, which tells of another lawman who has to go up against men who will not be taken alive. Again, this is the typical one-man-army tale, but it’s a fine little story which gives you hope that everything will turn out for the best, when in reality, you know what’s coming. “The O’Keefe Luck” by Wayne D. Overholser tells of a gunman who did not plan correctly when a sheriff shows up explaining that leaving a witness could bite you in the ass.
After that is the longest story of the collection – and the best for my money: Luke Short’s “The Hangman,” about a Ranger bringing in a bank robber. The problem is the man has been living in the town for awhile, showing no matter what he might have done in the past, he has pretty much changed his ways. This one reads like a Max Brand/Elmore Leonard combo, especially with the ending
IRON MEN ends with Hamilton’s “The Guns of William Longley,” which seems a bit supernatural – and not in the ghost sense, but just a little far-fetched with the resolution we’re given. Still, it’s a nice way to close out the collection. If you can find the book on the cheap, grab it. Just be forewarned: It might be a little too squeaky clean for some.
ALFRED HITCHCOCK’S HARD DAY AT THE SCAFFOLD – This 1967 collection contains 14 stories, all great. There’s not a clinker in the bunch, which is a really nice surprise, since I was only familiar with two of the authors. After a ghost-written introduction by Htichcock, we get to the meat of the matter: Jonathan Craig’s “The Baby,” which deals with a jealous scientist and his attempts at revenge in the radiology department where he works.
A story that could easily be used for one of THE SIMPSONS‘ never-ending “Treehouse of Terror” tales is “A Hundred Times” by Syd Hoff, which deals with a bad student who constantly had to write on the blackboard after school. It’s very funny stuff and you totally can imagine it as a cartoon. One that could have been turned into a full-length novel is “Weep for the Guilty” by Henry Sleaser, about an escapee who hijacks a car, but regrets his actions and ends up working for his victim in the office … until someone turns up dead and our narrator is mistaken for the killer. This story alone makes the purchase well worth it.
Fletcher Flora seems to be in every single Hitchcock collection I own, and she’s here with “Not Exactly Love.” Then Ed Lacy offers “The Swinging Sheriff,” a great little story for the boxing fans to get a laugh out of. Then there is Donald Westlake’s “One on a Deserted Island,” of a man driven to murder, even if it’s just an imaginary person he kills. All three of these are fun little diversions.
You also have “Bite of Revenge” by James McKimmey Jr., whose narrator finally gets the peace and quiet he so desperately wants after using his lawnmower. “Lily Bell” by Richard Deming is about the hill folk and how one woman wants to get out her marriage the only way she knows how. In my opinion, this is one of the best of the many Hitchock collections, well worth seeking out along with others in the series.
Next time: Nanny and the slayers. –Bruce Grossman
OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF THESE AUTHORS:
• ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS 12 STORIES FOR LATE AT NIGHT
• ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS: 14 OF MY FAVORITES IN SUSPENSE
• ALFRED HITCHCOCK’S A HANGMAN’S DOZEN
• ALFRED HITCHCOCK’S MYSTERY MAGAZINE PRESENTS FIFTY YEARS OF CRIME AND SUSPENSE
• ALFRED HITCHCOCK’S ONCE UPON A DREADFUL TIME
• THE AMBUSHERS by Donald Hamilton
• ASK THE PARROT by Richard Stark
• THE AXE by Donald E. Westlake
• THE BETRAYERS by Donald Hamilton
• THE CALL OF CTHULHU AND OTHER WEIRD STORIES by H.P. Lovecraft
• THE DREAMS IN THE WITCH HOUSE AND OTHER WEIRD STORIES by H.P. Lovecraft
• HOPSCOTCH by Brian Garfield
• THE HORROR IN THE MUSEUM by H.P. Lovecraft
• THE INTERLOPERS by Donald Hamilton
• THE INTIMIDATORS by Donald Hamilton
• KILLTOWN by Richard Stark
• LEMONS NEVER LIE by Richard Stark
• THE MAN WITH THE GETAWAY FACE by Richard Stark
• MARBLEHEAD: A NOVEL OF H.P. LOVECRAFT by Richard A. Lupoff
• THE MENACERS by Donald Hamilton
• MURDERERS’ ROW by Donald Hamilton
• NIGHT WALKER by Donald Hamilton
• PITY HIM AFTERWARDS by Donald E. Westlake
• POINT BLANK by Richard Stark
• SIX BITS A DAY by Elmer Kelton
• THE SOUR LEMON SCORE by Richard Stark
• TEXAS FEVER by Donald Hamilton
• THE THING ON THE DOORSTEP AND OTHER WEIRD STORIES by H.P. Lovecraft
• 361 by Donald E. Westlake
• THE VANISHERS by Donald Hamilton
• WHAT’S SO FUNNY? by Donald E. Westlake
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Hey Bruce. Hope you had a Happy Halloween, full of spooky fun. Great choices of books.