Chris Miller’s THE REAL ANIMAL HOUSE: THE AWESOMELY DEPRAVED SAGA OF THE FRATERNITY THAT INSPIRED THE MOVIE contains the stories on which one of the funniest films ever made was based. I just wish these stories were as funny.

Now, there are some things from the movie that have found their way into Miller’s memoir: specifically, the mustard sequence, the motorcycle driven up the steps, bands playing live, going to an all-girls college, and this line “We need the dues.” But in the film, those were expanded with things like humor. I mean, if you find countless stories of throwing up a laugh riot in and of themselves, then this book is for you, since vomiting accounts for probably 70 percent of the stories here. It seems Miller – one of HOUSE’s screenwriters – is looking back at his own college days with rose-colored glasses.

So I don’t come off as some anti-fraternity guy, know that I was in a fraternity all through college, and some of my stories blow away some of these “lurid memories.” Every time I watch OLD SCHOOL, I see the behavior of one of my brothers done so well by Will Ferrell.

You ever run into old college friends with an outsider and you talk about the old days? Your pal feels left out, having not been there. Well, that’s the problem with the book. We’re introduced to countless members of the fraternity, but they all seem to melt into one or two types. Yes, there are a few laughs and you find out why Miller was nicknamed Pinto. But on the whole, it seemed every story ended with them all drinking to a point of alchol poisioning. Yeah, wasn’t college life great back in the early ’60s?

For those who want to hear about my exploits in college. I’ll be giving a lecture called “Stupid Shit I Did and Can’t Believe I Was Cheered on for Doing” at 4 p.m. in Hoxie Hall. –Bruce Grossman

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