The McSweeney’s Joke Book of Book Jokes

Did you hear the one about LOLITA’s pedophiliac Humbert Humbert being confronted by DATELINE’s “To Catch a Predator” segment? If not, consult THE MCSWEENEY’S JOKE BOOK OF BOOK JOKES pronto. This slim but satisfying anthology pokes a number of holes into the often-inflated world of self-important literature and writing with dozens of brief biting bits.

From the start – namely, the introduction by John Hodgman – you can tell you’re in for a good time. “It is hilarious that Herman Melville wrote MOBY-DICK,” he writes. “It is hilarious that it has a tattooed cannibal in it named ‘Queequeg’ and also a guy with a peg leg, and what’s more, it’s GODDAMNED TITLE IS MOBY-DICK. Priceless. I know, as we all do, that MOBY-DICK is hilarious, and I HAVEN’T EVEN READ IT.”

If that at least put a crooked smile on your face, dig in; there’s plenty more where that came from. Matthew Kennedy offers a sexually explicit “The Dick and Jane Reader for Advanced Students,” while Jim Stallard goes meta with a RASHOMON-style look at the exploits of Highlights for Children mainstays Goofus and Gallant.

John Moe has a diary of what it’s like when “Winnie-the-Pooh Is My Co-Worker” (“Winnie’s friends came by to take him out for lunch today … a tiger that had to be on coke”), and Jared Bloom presents a two-page excerpt from Steven Seagal’s “very authorized biography,” in which the actor struggles to come up with titles for what eventually became the film HARD TO KILL (discarded monikers include DIFFICULT TO BEAT UP; SERIOUSLY, TRY PUNCHING THIS GUY IN THE FACE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS; HOWARD’S END; and SEX FIGHTING).

Franz Kafka’s man-turned-cockroach Gregor Samsa is the subject of two pieces: one by Alex St. Andrews, taking form of a Social Security notice denying his disability claim, and another by Will Layman, imagining him as a sports coach.

There are lots of short lists, including:
• “Klingon Fairy Tales” (example: “Mary Had a Little Lamb. It Was Delicious”)
• “Ikea Product or LORD OF THE RINGS Character?”
• “Twist Endings”
• “Thrilling Chapter Endings You May Use in Your Next Novel” (example: “Suddenly, {PROTAGONIST} noticed darting shadows in the corner of the ballroom. Ninjas!”)
• “Possible Titles for Future Sue Grafton Novels After She Runs Out of Letters” (example: “‘,’ IS ALMOST FOR COMA”)
• and perhaps most hilariously, Dan Wiencek’s “Thirteen Writing Prompts” (example: “A wasp called the tarantula hawk reproduces by paralyzing tarantulas and laying its eggs into their bodies. When the larvae hatch, they devour the still living spider from the inside out. Isn’t that fucked up? Write a short story about how fucked up that is.”)

Like ye olde Spy magazine – without which McSweeney’s would not exist – some pieces are better as a concept than in execution (“Lady Macbeth on Ambien,” “Jane Eyre Runs for President”), but if there’s something you don’t like, simply turn the page. It should be noted that McSweeney’s sometimes is responsible for the very brainier-than-thou attitudes they’re making fun of here, but at least their hands of parody are quite deft ones. –Rod Lott

Buy it at Amazon.

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF JOHN HODGMAN:
• THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE by John Hodgman

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF MCSWEENEY’S:
• NOISY OUTLAWS, UNFRIENDLY BLOBS, AND SOME OTHER THINGS THAT AREN’T AS SCARY, MAYBE, DEPENDING ON HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LOST LANDS, STRAY CELLPHONES, CREATURES FROM THE SKY, PARENTS WHO DISAPPEAR IN PERU, A MAN NAMED LARS FARF, AND ONE OTHER STORY WE COULDN’T QUITE FINISH, SO MAYBE YOU COULD HELP US OUT