If you’re looking for a book on celebrity nudity, look no further, because MR. SKIN’S SKINCYCLOPEDIA is the Holy Booble. Don’t believe me? Check out this scripture from the entry (no pun intended) on Jennifer Connelly: “In the beginning, God created Jennifer Connelly. And God said, ‘Let there be boobs,’ and there were boobs. And God saw that the boobs were good. … On the final day, God finished Jennifer Connelly and he spoke unto her. ‘Jennifer Connelly, thou shalt go forth and bring erections to all men, cause jealousy in most women, and appear nude on film.” Spawned from the popular pay-to-download website Mr. Skin (www.mrskin.com), the SKINCYCLOPEDIA is your one-stop source for all TV T&A.
But wait, you say, hasn’t the nude celebrity guide been done before? Indeed, it has, with Craig Hosoda’s long-running THE BARE FACTS. But SKINCYCLOPEDIA is much better. Compare, dear reader, what the two books have to say about the pulchitrudinous Mimi Rogers:
BARE FACTS: “Most of her left breast, while lying in bed with Randy.”
SKINCYCLOPEDIA: “A glimpse of Mimi’s mamas is more than enough boobage for even the most diehard tit man, but if you want to risk a jug OD then go for the uncut stuff in FULL BODY MASSAGE. Mimi got oiled up and rubbed down, sending her fleshy mounds every which way *and* loose.”
See what I mean? Whereas Hosoda merely lists the timecodes for nude scenes, Mr. Skin enhances his with lengthy, infantilely humorous write-ups, all laden with puns too terrible not to admire (i.e. Jennifer Esposito’s “Espo-teato”). It’s even entertaining to read about the stars you *don’t* want to see nude (of Rosie O’Donnell he writes: “Whole-lotta-Rosie makes like a pork sausage in a black leather dominatrix get-up. And if that suit smells half as bad as it looks…”). Plus he includes a slew of sidebars and the occasional photograph (all of the PG-13 variety, though, so it can sit on bookshelves without a brown paper bag). Best of all, Mr. Skin wisely avoids Hosoda’s decision to include males. Thus, the SKINCYCLOPEDIA is completely wang-free!
And all the better for it. This book makes me wish I had a healthy trust fund, an unlimited Netflix account, loads of spare time and a refractory period of zero.
(Related: See our review of Russ Meyer’s BIG BOOBS bio here.
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