There’s one in every office: that “wacky” guy where everything he does or says is some sort of forced craziness. Whether it be recounting a Dane Cook routine, putting up “ironic” posters of monkeys or getting a well-deserved smack to the breadbasket for taking “Talk Like a Pirate Day” way too far, you know who I’m talking about. It’s a facade – an attempt to carve a persona, a personality, where there is none.

And now, they have a new magazine to read. It’s called Geek Monthly. Because it’s for geeks – get it? Not for real, over- or underweight, socially awkward, D&D-playing nerds who wait until 2 a.m. for the latest copy of Windows Vista geeks, but those cool, fashionable ones who wear tight lime-green sweaters, have $500 faux-thick glasses and masturbate to photos of Weezer in between shopping sprees at Hot Topic, whereupon they buy a shirt of Chuck Norris playing an old-school Atari.

It’s for that kind of geek. Think of it as their Details.

Issue two finds the overrated Kristen Bell on the cover, who seems to be the latest geek “It Girl,” and here she plays that up, talking about how she’s a STAR WARS chick who’d kill to play Harley Quinn in a Batman movie. Hear that, dorks? She’s just like you! Next time you see her at a convention, be sure to ask her out, because you know she’ll say yes, because she’s a total nerd, too! You guys’ll have so much to talk about.

Moderately entertaining interviews with Tom Tykwer and Guillermo del Toro, and a treatise on CHILDREN OF MEN being the “best science-fiction movie of the decade” are passable reading material, but the standout feature has to be “The Big List” of “108 Things That Rule” – not because it’s so good, but rather because it feels like it was written by a group of slackers circa 1993 while passing around a bong and getting ready to go see REALITY BITES while listening to the latest Teenage Fanclub disc.

Seriously, guys – Quisp vs. Quake? How lame Ewoks are? Pop Rocks blowing your stomach up? Is that the best you could do?

Geek Monthly is the equivalent of the Aryan Nation publishing Ebony. It’s a throwaway rag written by hipsters in need of a goofy persona. It’s a bullpen full of those aforementioned annoying guys in your office, and you can bet at least one of them is prepping an article about ninja outfits right now. –Louis Fowler

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