The debut issue of the digest-sized Bachelor Pad Magazine promises three things: booze, babes and burly-q. It fulfills all those promises real quick.

Picking up from what was started in the sadly defunct Kutie magazine, this is a throwback to the men’s periodicals of yore – the type that are now sold for ridiculous prices, offering nothing but promises and very little follow-through. But Bachelor Pad knows who its audience is right away: guys who wish that Vegas were still Vegas from the good ol’ days of the Rat Pack.

If you’re looking for nudity, you’re grabbing the wrong magazine. This is all about the tease, with cheesecake models with a retro vibe and a ton of cheesecake, featuring a dead-on ringer for Bettie Page by the name of Berni Dexter. You also have Kay O’Hara, their debut centerfold who’s a drop-dead blonde bombshell. Finishing it up are little costume shots of Betty Bosen as a maid we would all love to employ.

If this were the only thing going for the magazine, you wouldn’t feel gypped, since for the small cover price of $4, you get more then your money’s worth. But there are plenty of little articles peppered throughout, with some very funny party tips from Penny Starr, who explains the rights and wrongs of throwing a proper function.

They also have an Ann Landers type for the retro-loving crowd and a nice little piece about the types of men who are part of burlesque dancers’ lives. It’s funny and probably totally on target. There is, of course the film column that tells you the films that portray the cool side of Vegas. (Sadly, VEGAS VACATION did not make the cut.)

Also included is a advice column for budding models by their cover girl Heidi Van Horne, with some accompanying photos that will make you wish that she were your neighbor. The magazine is just a fun little read, not taking itself too seriously and not making you feel like some pervert flipping through it.

So for those who have outgrown the Maxim/FHM thing and feel Playboy is way too snooty and out-of-touch, then Bachelor Pad is the cure for your cheesecake needs. I can’t wait for issue two. It comes out quarterly with a price of $16 – not a bad deal at all, since you probably would have wasted that money on a CD you would grow tired of. –Bruce Grossman

Buy it at Bachelor Pad Magazine.