Winter is upon us and I’ve already spent one weekend digging my car out from under 20 inches of snow. I’m so dreading the rest of the season if this is how it’s starting. So it’s time to relax and read some books that either take place in the snow or somewhere colder than an ice cube in the Antarctic. What a better start than one set in … Texas?
FREEZER BURN by Joe R. Lansdale — After reading this 1999 novel, I have the distinct opinion that Tod Browning’s FREAKS might be Lansdale’s favorite movie. Not only does the bulk of the book take place at a rundown freak show, but early on, he quotes a line directly from the film.
The story deals with a loser named Bill, a man so down on his luck, he leaves his dead mother’s body in her old bedroom so he can still collect her Social Security checks. Since he is broke, Bill gets the bright idea of robbing the fireworks stand across from his home. Things don’t go that well: Not only does the stand owner die, but so does Bill’s helper … by Roman candle, no less.
After that, Bill winds up being stung by a bunch of mosquitos while passed out in a river, only to be rescued by some of the sideshow employees, thinking they have found a new attraction, due to the fact Bill is allergic to the bites, puffing his face out to look like a pomegranate. He ends up working for the freak show taking care of the frozen man trailer, a place which not only creeps out customers, but Bill himself.
Things go smooth until the show owner’s wife takes a shine to Bill, figuring he could help her finally escape this life. Faster than you can say DOUBLE INDEMNITY, you can see where this story is going. But with Lansdale, it takes more than a few dark turns along the way. This book will divide readers: Either they’re going to love it, or they have sticks up their asses.
THE ANNIHILATORS by Donald Hamilton — The coldest man in the spy game is back and, boy, is he pissed off. See, in the previous installment, THE REVENGERS, Matt Helm spent the bulk of it making sure a woman named Elly Brand could see another day. Well, since this is a Hamilton novel, every loose end gets tied up in no time.
Case in point: The 1983 book opens with Helm on his way to visit the young lady, only to find out she has been kidnapped. The kidnappers want Helm to kill somebody, or else the girl dies. Anyone who has read any Helm book knows what happens next. You guessed it: one less character living in the Helm universe.
The people responsible for the killing actually tie into another previous novel; way back in THE AMBUSHERS, Helm helped a man named Hector Jimenez, once president of Costa Verde. Now, years have gone by, and Hector wants that power back, using his children to persuade Helm for help. This is why Elly is dead, and Helm gets the go-ahead from his boss to take out all of the Jimenez clan.
This is Hamilton showing what a sadistic bastard Helm can be and, boy, doe this book deliver. Once Helm gets down to business, he is a man on a tear, bending even his boss’ rules to get things accomplished, such as teaming up with a man Mac would love to see six feet under. Throw in a new love interest for Helm and a nice body count, and you have another kick-ass Helm adventure. The only sad part of it all is that I only have six more left to read, all from the latter half of the series.
THE WHITE SOUTH by Hammond Innes — Nothing like reading a book about people stuck in the Antarctic while the snow really starts to come down outside. This 1949 novel can be summed up in one simple phrase: man vs. nature, with nature not only being a huge ice flow, but hunting whales.
The story is set up as a report of the actions of the whaling ship Southern Cross, which had a tragic accident on its last run. From this point, the book switches to a report written by sailor Duncan Craig, who looks into the situation as sort of a rescue mission. Once he’s there, the book turns into a formulaic mystery, that of who killed the ship’s captain, or was it an accident? There are no real surprises; you understand pretty much from the outset who the bad guys are. I mean, it was written six decades ago.
Innes uses the setting of the ice flows to perfection. You feel as though you are stuck on this snowbound ship with men who would easily slit your throat if it would get them home. The author creates total archetypes of men’s men — we’re talking testosterone overload. Some of the dialogue can be hard to follow, since Innes uses real dialects and speech patterns for every sailor, so be prepared to read a sentence a few times. —Bruce Grossman
OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF DONALD HAMILTON:
• THE AMBUSHERS by Donald Hamilton
• THE BETRAYERS by Donald Hamilton
• THE DEVASTATORS by Donald Hamilton
• THE INTERLOPERS by Donald Hamilton
• THE INTIMIDATORS by Donald Hamilton
• IRON MEN AND SILVER STARS edited by Donald Hamilton
• LINE OF FIRE by Donald Hamilton
• THE MENACERS by Donald Hamilton
• THE MONA INTERCEPT by Donald Hamilton
• MURDERERS’ ROW by Donald Hamilton
• NIGHT WALKER by Donald Hamilton
• ON GUNS AND HUNTING by Donald Hamilton
• THE POISONERS by Donald Hamilton
• THE RAVAGERS by Donald Hamilton
• THE RETALIATORS by Donald Hamilton
• THE REVENGERS by Donald Hamilton
• THE SHADOWERS by Donald Hamilton
• THE TERMINATORS by Donald Hamilton
• THE TERRORIZERS by Donald Hamilton
• TEXAS FEVER by Donald Hamilton
• THE VANISHERS by Donald Hamilton
OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF JOE R. LANSDALE:
• BAD CHILI by Joe R. Lansdale
• LEATHER MAIDEN by Joe R. Lansdale
• MUCHO MOJO by Joe R. Lansdale
• RETRO PULP TALES edited by Joe R. Lansdale
• SANCTIFIED AND CHICKEN-FRIED: THE PORTABLE LANSDALE by Joe R. Lansdale
• SAVAGE SEASON by Joe R. Lansdale
• SON OF RETRO PULP TALES edited by Joe R. Lansdale and Keith Lansdale
• THE TWO-BEAR MAMBO by Joe R. Lansdale
• VANILLA RIDE by Joe R. Lansdale
Related posts:
- BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Spies I Read in the Cold
- BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Better Than Bond
- BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Mr. Warmth
- BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> Solid Gold
- BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS >> True Men’s Adventures
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Yeah, Freezer Burn is a book that needs to be studied. I had to read it twice before I could really appreciate how good it is.
I don’t know if Donald Hamilton is still alive or not, but he has/had a house in Stockholm, since he was born in Sweden. I remember that I some years ago – or is it ten or more years? Time flies! – read that a certain “Donald Hamilton in Stockholm” had written a new Matt Helm novel, the first in ages, and had problems getting it out. Nobody wanted to publish it. That’s all I remember. I’ve no idea WHY he couldn’t get it out. Or maybe it was published after all?
Hamilton passed away in 2006, and that last Helm book sadly was never published.