Broken on the Wheel of Sex

Step into the Wayback Machine with me, kids, back to the ’80s, where the only thing bad was the inexplicable hipness of the mullet. I loved the malls, the music, the television and the skinny ties. Of course, I was in my teens and not getting laid, so what did I know?

Jack Ketchum was hanging and banging, and his collection of short stories BROKEN ON THE WHEEL OF SEX gives a unique perspective on that golden time in America, right between where free love stopped, but somewhere before AIDS began.

I’m a big fan of short stories where people don’t die and nothing supernatural happens. It’s the closest thing you can find to true literature — the classics they make you read in college. Ketchum picks up on the vibe, and his misanthropic alter ego of Stroup – an homage to Marcel Proust – takes him on a wild ride through the late ’70s/early ’80s sexual landscape of America. It was a different time, and the hardest thing about enjoying the tales is trying to relate to the author’s lustful adventures in a country I don’t recognize.

I’m left with important, nagging questions. I mean, did SWANK magazine really run a Best Fiction of the Year award? How does a guy who refers to most women as “cunts” get laid so much? I know there was lots of blow in the decade, but geez, I thought coke just turned people into bigger assholes? Was it really that easy back then?

I can’t stress this enough: There’s no way to write a sex scene without it seeming tawdry. It dashes any artistic aspirations. BROKEN ON THE WHEEL OF SEX reads like a PENTHOUSE FORUM letter in more places than I can count. If that’s your bag, this isn’t something you want to read, say, poolside this summer. The ensuing boner might get you chased out of most respectable water parks. It’s like SEX AND THE CITY from the perspective of Andrew “Dice” Clay; this stuff gets written by guys who either get laid all the time (whom I hate on sheer principle) or never do at all (welcome to the club).

You can decide which one Ketchum falls into.

Some stories, like “The Liar” (the aforementioned SWANK award-winner), have a more interesting genesis than execution. In fact, I enjoyed reading more about how they came to be than the actual stories. “The Christmas Caller” is a one-hit joke, about a woman who gives an obscene phone call as a Christmas present. Some of the others, well, just check out the titles: “Never Trust a Smart Cunt with Two First Names,” “Flashers and Freaks” and my personal fave, “Ugly George: Cable TV’s Prince of Pickup.”

Those guys who like to drool over the stroke books without pictures will love this one and all its sleazy stories. But the sticky pages will make this a better one to own, not to borrow. As for women? Maybe Ketchum’s mom will buy a copy. The Stroup and Ketchum on display here existed in a brief period of time – and they’re probably part of the reason why it was so brief. —Matt Adder

Buy it at Amazon or Overlook Connection Press.

OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF THIS AUTHOR:
• CLOSING TIME AND OTHER STORIES by Jack Ketchum
• THE GIRL NEXT DOOR by Jack Ketchum
• LADIES’ NIGHT by Jack Ketchum
• OFF SEASON by Jack Ketchum
• OLD FLAMES by Jack Ketchum
• TRIAGE by Jack Ketchum, Richard Laymon and Edward Lee