Our end-o’-week roundup of what you missed while working for The Man!

As you may have noticed, it isn’t Friday. And while there might not be a good reason for that, there is a reason nonetheless: The BOOKGASM corporate overlords have decided that there’s just too darn much content during the week, and have pushed this recap to the weekend. That’s the bad news; the good news is the fact that it’s always so hard to get started on Monday mornings, and now you’ll have a great way to kick off the soul-sucking trudge to Friday. Enjoy!

MONDAY >> 8.21.06
I love too-spooky-for-children children’s books, and GOD’S ACRE: BOOK ONE – THE RAVENS & THE RHYME hits it on the head. Omnibucket has created, at least according to Rod Lott, a multimedia masterpiece fitting for the original dark fantasy of the Brothers Grimm. If you’ve ever wished that the POKY LITTLE PUPPY got impaled or that the LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD couldn’t, this is the book for you.

Whenever I read stories about a world on the inside of our hollow planet, I always get hung up on light sources. Nobody has ever explained this to my satisfaction. There’s a mini sun in there? Really? Then where does all the hot air go? There obviously isn’t a vacuum inside our planet, because then our planet would collapse. And another thing … oh, never mind. Anyway, Rod took a liking to David Standish’s (take a deep breath) HOLLOW EARTH: THE LONG AND CURIOUS HISTORY OF IMAGINING STRANGE LANDS, FANTASTICAL CREATURES, ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS, AND MARVELOUS MACHINES BELOW THE EARTH’S SURFACE (whew), which takes a look at the manifold incarnations of this fantasy and sports a cover that, at first glance, looks like a diagram of the human eye.

The one good thing about my obsessive collecting of THE OFFICIAL HANDBOOK OF THE MARVEL UNIVERSE as a slightly introverted child is that I know more about the second- and third-tier Marvel characters than most humans. Marvel, having found out about my superhuman genius, is trying to negate it with its ESSENTIAL line, and the latest one to get reviewed in these virtual pages is ESSENTIAL SAVAGE SHE-HULK: VOL 1. Rod thinks it’s pretty great, aside from the odd Man-Wolf incoherence. My special knowledge has been severely degraded, however; with Nova, Moon Knight and now She-Hulk revealed to the general public, the only guy I really have good info on is The Whizzer*, and that’s pretty sad.

TUESDAY >> 8.22.06
Mark Rose kicked off Thor’s day by casting his critical eye toward Lynn Abbey’s swords-and-sociology tale RIFKIND’S CHALLENGE. Apparently this is the women’s action fantasy version of the movie ROAD TRIP. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though; and if the setting interests you more than individual character development arcs, this is right up your alley. And no, there’s no Tom Green.

Bruce Grossman got back to basics in last week’s BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS, taking on detective fiction by Erle Stanley Gardner, Jonathan Gash and a ghost writer posing as Brett Halliday. Despite having the week’s best cover, NEVER KILL A CLIENT falls to the bottom of the stack, while Gardner and Gash rise to the top.

WEDNESDAY >> 8.23.06
Voting is open for the Quills awards, at least according to NEWSGASM. I haven’t taken the time to wonder if sales numbers are the main criteria for ballot inclusion, but Tyler Perry will inevitably win in the humor category; after stuffing a bra year after year, stuffing a ballot box should be no biggie.

When I saw the news release announcing Virgin Comics, I have to admit I was disappointed. Limiting your comics to one mythology, even one as deep and rich as India’s, never seems to work out. It’s really in the cross-pollination — the clash of cultures – that things get interesting. That said, it remains to be seen if VIRGIN COMICS #0 is an accurate measure of how the entire line will evolve. There’s big money behind it, so we’ll take the long view.

Word to the wise: When Bruce Grossman says Stark House Press is on his shortlist for favorite publisher, you’d best take note and buy some books. He is effusive in his praise for their latest release, Harry Whittington’s two-book volume A NIGHT FOR SCREAMING / ANY WOMAN HE WANTED. Grossman knows his noir, and what he says goes. Or else.

THURSDAY >> 8.24.06
Rod Lott likes what Steve Niles is cooking in his THE CRYPTICS one-shot, but $3.50? Come on. If you’re making a comic for kids, print it on cheap paper, stuff it with Twinkies ads and sell it for 60 cents. It’s the American way.

Bruce Grossman, if you didn’t know, loves his rock and roll music. If The Ramones had known him, one of their first hits would have been “Bruce Grossman is a Punk Rocker,” and woe betide the man who takes Jann Wenner’s side in the ages-old Rolling Stone vs. Creem debate. Therefore, it’s a no-brainer that he gets his hands on GRIT, NOISE AND REVOLUTION: THE BIRTH OF DETROIT ROCK ‘N’ ROLL. He says it’s good, though I can’t get past the awkward hyphenation on the cover.

It seems like every day I learn something new from BOOKGASM, and on Thursday I finally found out what the deal is with all those Harlan Coben books: The recurring character is a sports agent. DEAL BREAKER is a reprint of the first book in a long series, reprinted to serve as a jumping off point for new readers. That’s a great idea, and if you’re a fan of these books, pick up a copy to lend to friends. I have three copies of Robert B. Parker’s THE GODWULF MANUSCRIPT, and they’re always out on loan to someone or another, and they always come back for more.

FRIDAY >> 8.26.06
Among the phrases I love to read, “balls-out revenge tale” is a new addition, and it’s near the top. Bruce Grossman, who never requires sleep, and thus, can read and review books 24 hours a day, uses this phrase in describing LAST SHOT by Gregg Hurwitz. Balls thusly exposed, Hurwitz made Grossman jump with glee and giggle like a schoolgirl. Needless to say, it was good.

I’ve finally managed to get off my rapidly expanding ass and write some more book reviews; the first of this batch was of ECHELON by Josh Conviser. There’s a lot to like about this book, but it’s really only of the skin-deep, “cinematic action” variety. Still really cool, though, so click that link for further reference.

That’s it for this weekend. My list of chores is running into two columns, and my wife is still convinced this is a porn site, so I’ve got to run. Until next week. —Ryun Patterson

*EDITOR’S NOTE: I’m about to take the precious Whizzer away from Ryun, with next week’s review of ESSENTIAL SUPER-VILLAIN TEAM-UP.