Our end-o’-week roundup of what you missed while working for The Man!

Winter made its presence known at BOOKGASM headquarters this week, and despite impassable roads and most of the employees calling in “sick,” Rod managed to wrangle up a host of great reads, no matter what your literary persuasion.

IS THAT A SWAMP THING IN YOUR POCKET?
This is what I associate with SWAMP THING:
1) Those coot fan-boats that they always seemed to be driving in shows like JONNY QUEST.
2) I sold my copy of the best issue ever, “Anatomy Lesson,” for, like, $10 to Powerhouse Comics in Green Bay, Wis., because I was young and stupid and needed cash to buy the latest JUSTICE LEAGUE.
3) Swampy, for some reason, gave birth to himself one time.
It’s really number 3 that resonated when I read Rod Lott’s review of SWAMP THING: INFERNAL TRIANGLES, and that collection solidified my belief that many of DC’s early “Suggested for Mature Readers” titles were in many instances fuelled by drugs or mental illness. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and here we see why: Swamp Thing not only gives birth to himself, but he also does things such as becoming a computer virus (of course), all while his pregnant wife has to deal with being the mother of an elemental’s child. This is the canon of modern comics — the bedrock of post-Comics Code genius, and people need to recognize.

LIKE RABBITS
Amazon should have a separate category for Playboy Mansion tell-all books, because I don’t see how we could really get sick of them. What’s there not to like? You’ve got seamy underbellies, steamy underbellies, sex and harsh realities, all wrapped up in a shell of lost innocence and pop-culture mysticism. The latest, BUNNY TALES: BEHIND CLOSED DOORS AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION, gets the, er, thumbs up from us as being better than most, because it gives readers exactly what they are looking for: graphic depictions of sexual gymnastics and the weirdness of the mega-rich. While Rod Lott, himself the Hugh Hefner of niche book review websites, observes that is isn’t the perfect book, the good parts seem to make up for the flaws, so get on it.

COMMON DENOMINATOR … RISING
If an after-school special were to be written about BOOKGASM’s rise to prominence, I think the turning point would be when searchers looking for actual book reviews started visiting the site and we didn’t have to tailor our prose to satisfy connoisseurs of niche B-celebrity skin. That point is quickly approaching, as searchers’ emphasis on full-frontal Charo is in retrograde and Marvel zombies are gaining steam, at least according to last month’s search data in FUN WITH BOOKGASM. I think this would be the point in the movie in which Rod Lott (played by Kristy McNichol) sees that not everyone in the world is a slimy perv looking for cheap celebrity nipple slips, convincing her to finally go “all the way” with her high school boyfriend.

BEOWULF COMING AND ME WAN’ GO HOME (AND READ)
I love the concept of THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF BEOWULF: CHAMPION OF MIDDLE EARTH. It reminds me of my favorite season of the HERCULES TV show, in which Herc went on a journey of self-discovery reminiscent of THE RAZOR’S EDGE and he met all sorts of multi-ethnic godlings and heroes to help him understand the world and himself, too. Beowulf, being the spiritual father of every hero from Doc Savage to The Whizzer, is perfect for this kind of book, and a great, accessible translation of the original epic poem is the icing on the cake.

PIMPING FOR CRICHTON
NEWSGASM was all over the alternate-reality-game-style website for Michael Crichton’s new book, NEXT. The site is up there with the best as far as cutting-edge promotion goes, and I love the monkey/barcode cover. Now let’s hope Crichton manages to pull his head out his money-stuffed ass and deliver a book more akin to GRAVE DESCEND than STATE OF FEAR. Ugh. STATE OF FEAR – shudder – I didn’t need to bring the specter of that book into my consciousness. Now the bad-science nightmares will start all over again.

I hope you found some books the curl up with beside the fireplace (or dangerous space heater) this week. Winter’s only just begun, and BOOKGASM will be there to satisfy your every genre desire. –Ryun Patterson

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