Comments on: The BOOKGASM Anti-Joke Book

By: Josh Taylor

Josh Taylor — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:09:34 +0000

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away?
– because she was an abusive drunk

By: RP

RP — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 14:50:14 +0000

One day in class, little Joey was asked to locate China on the classroom globe.
He pointed to Liberia, and his teacher, Mrs. Mulcahy, cried herself to sleep that night over her failure to teach Joey basic geography.

By: JD

JD — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 07:05:21 +0000

Brilliant!

By: steve

steve — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 05:05:14 +0000

A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is ruining his life.

By: Wally

Wally — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 03:45:54 +0000

I once met a girl from Venus,
good looking gal, i would like to meet her again.

By: Mark Johnston

Mark Johnston — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:24:35 +0000

A city man’s car breaks down far into the countryside. He spots a farmhouse nearby, so he decides to go there and see if he can find help.

When he knocks on the door, a gorgeous, young woman in tiny shorts and a bikini top answers. The man is taken aback by her beauty. He mentions that he is stranded and his car is out by the road. Just then, an older man, who is apparently the girl’s father shows up at the door. The man explains his current situation, but can’t stop staring at the beautiful girl.

The farmer tells the man to wait in the living room where the beautiful girl joins him. The girl stands up and heads upstairs as the man leeringy stares. She smiles back at him.

Just then the farmer walks back in and tells the man that a towing service has been called. This snaps the man back from his fanciful thoughts, and he realizes he’s being silly, as the girl is much younger than him, and besides, he’s married with kids.

The beautiful daughter is upstairs reading a book of Keats writings. The man then meets the tow truck at the road, and safely makes it home, albiet a little later than planned.

By: AW

AW — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 21:13:11 +0000

What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

By: Thomas

Thomas — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 20:35:49 +0000

A baby seal walks into a club.

By: Gk1

Gk1 — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 19:50:26 +0000

Why does Donald Duck wear a little sailor suit?

Because he’s a cunt.

By: RP

RP — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 19:35:15 +0000

What’s red, white, and green all over?
The flags of Italy and Mexico.

By: RP

RP — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 19:33:46 +0000

On the Darwinian plains of the Savannah, whether or not you have a high-powered rifle is more often a function of intelligence than your interpretation of the second amendment.

By: Laurel

Laurel — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 18:48:16 +0000

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.

By: Nhoji

Nhoji — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 18:16:34 +0000

A Priest, The Pope, and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
Bartender looks at them and goes…

“What is this? some kind of joke?”

By: amber

amber — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:32:36 +0000

What do you call a black pilot?
A pilot, you racist.

By: amber

amber — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:31:34 +0000

i actually cried

By: Hadoken37

Hadoken37 — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:55:02 +0000

How do you drown a blonde?
Immerse her in water until expiration.

By: Paul Kupperberg

Paul Kupperberg — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:53:06 +0000

Two Irishman walk OUT of a bar. Hey, it could happen.

By: Paul Kupperberg

Paul Kupperberg — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:52:42 +0000

Two Jews walk into a bar. You would have thought ONE of them would have seen it!

By: Joeyjoejoe

Joeyjoejoe — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:57:18 +0000

What’s the difference between OJ Simpson and Elton John?
OJ Simpson DRIVES a white Bronco, and Elton John is gay.

By: Ledge

Ledge — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:44:44 +0000

What’s worse than finding a worm in an apple?
The Holocaust.

By: Blah

Blah — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:43:50 +0000

So a man walks into a bar. Says “Ouch”. He’s fine now.

By: Tak

Tak — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:31:22 +0000

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The guy behind them ducks.

By: Tak

Tak — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:29:49 +0000

Although political affiliation may have a bearing on whether you happen to have a high-powered rifle on your person at any given time …

By: RP

RP — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 15:10:13 +0000

How many Republicans do you need to stop a rampaging rhinocerous?

Political affiliation has less to do with it than whether or not you have a high-powered rifle.

By: Allan

Allan — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 14:47:43 +0000

This reminds me a lot of Norm MacDonald’s set at the recent Comedy Central Bob Saget roast, where by badly telling lame groaners that would have seemed archaic back in the Dean Martin days he ended up being the funniest comic of the night.

I always wonder when I read something like this how many people are like me, laughing far harder than they ever have over any of the original versions of these “classics” (seriously, numbers 7 and 8 had me shaking), and how many are confused because all of the punchlines seem to have been taken away.