Our end-o’-week roundup of what you missed while working for The Man!

It’s a short turnaround for the REGASM this week, since the last time we met was Sunday. Oh, Sunday. Now that was a day, let me tell you. None of this TGIF crap, just a lazy Sunday at home. I wish there could be a Sunday every week. But I digress.

MONDAY >> 7.31.06
In last month’s hit parade, "Charo nude" is the second most searched phrase for this website. Really? It’s just a sign of the times, I guess. But really, anything that pays the bills is all good. I mean, if so many people want to see the real "cootchie cootchie," wouldn’t they also want to see David Hasselhoff’s abs or Ryan Seacrest’s belly button? We’ll see.

In "keep"ing (get it?) with our recent push to make F. Paul Wilson a household name (along with Paul Malmont and Hard Case Crime), Rod Lott took a look at a comic interpretation of Wilson’s first big hit, THE KEEP. It’s a such a strong story, and it seems that the conversion went off without a hitch.

Ken Davis is back! Now that his undercover stint trolling for ticks along the lonely streets of Wichita’s red-light district is over, Davis finally revealed what I always knew to be true: Policemen don’t like lawyers. It is fitting, then, that Davis offered some positive thoughts on Jeremy Blachman’s ANONYMOUS LAWYER. The was a great review, and it spurs an even more interesting question: How often do we contact the authors of books we read when we like/loathe/have a quesiton about the books we read? Davis wrote in this review about his contact with Blachman, and I find myself doing it more and more. Is it an age thing? I think Davis is nearly retirement age (that’s 40 for cops, right?), and my father e-mails everyone (his most recent victim: the aforementioned Malmont of THE CHINATOWN DEATH CLOUD PERIL). I find that they’re usually pretty nice to talk with, if wary of stalker-type fanboyism.

Stop the presses! Rod Lott raved about Max Allan Collins’ THE LAST QUARRY, calling it, "Hard Case Crime’s zippiest and most effortless read yet"!!! That’s all we really need to know, right?

TUESDAY >> 8.1.06
There are a lot of comics artists who try experimental, nontraditional styles on for size, but it’s very rare that they actually pull it off. Like Bill Sienkiewicz (spelled it right from memory, BTW) and Mike Mignola before him, Seth Fisher was one of the talented few. Sadly, he’s not around anymore, but we’ll always have FANTASTIC FOUR/IRON MAN: BIG IN JAPAN to remember him by. I’m totally dumbfounded that Rod liked this book. Who knew that within his bitter, cynical shell lived an artistic, whimsical soul? (Maybe his wife, Malena, author of THE STORK REALITY, on sale now!)

Fun summer reads with a splash of murder was the theme for this week’s BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS. Resident noir guru Bruce Grossman (it actually says that on his business card: Noir Guru) tackled three books of widely varying quality. In summation, Ed McBain’s LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE DEAF MAN (obviously a ripoff of that song from FOOTLOOSE) rocks, Frank Gruber is as uninteresting as his name implies, and we have a so-so, I think, for Carter Brown. Judges? Yeah, that’s a so-so.

With a title like THE ASSASSINS GALLERY, David L. Robbins’ novel better not suck. It doesn’t.

WEDNESDAY >> 8.2.06
When I think of THE BURNING, I think of high school sex-ed films. But when Bentley Little thinks of THE BURNING, he thinks of a ghost train of damnation weaving in and out of disparate lives that, in the end, are all connected. Same difference. Anyway, Rod thought it was good, so if you’ve got the hunger for some of THE BURNING, I’d say whip it out.

There was all sorts of good news in NEWSGASM this week: There’s an F. Paul Wilson contest (my entry: Repairman Jack: Culligan Man), a werewolf novel by David Wellington (my favorite werewolf book: MOONDANCE by S.P. Somtow), the Science Fiction Book Club is doing a Richard Matheson double edition (You see, nowadays, vampires are a legend. After the vampire apocalypse, however, he is legend. Deep, eh?), and the Book Whore is taking a sabbatical. Wait, wait, wait. The Book Whore is gone, and Ken Davis is back. Has anyone ever seen them together in the same place?

Speaking of "eh," Bruce Grossman cares very deeply for a pair of Canadian noir yarns, THE DEADLY DAMES and A DUM-DUM FOR PRESIDENT. I really think the title is half the battle as far as noir stuff goes.

THURSDAY >> 8.3.06
I’ve had a couple of albatrosses around my neck reading-wise, lately. First was VELLUM, whicn was short, but so challenging to read that it took me a month to get through it. After a couple of light, palate-cleansing books, I ended up falling into the 700-page black hole of awesome science fiction that is OFF THE MAIN SEQUENCE: THE OTHER SCIENCE FICTION OF ROBERT A. HEINLEIN. I always forget how good Heinlein is until I stumble across this, or STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND, or STARSHIP TROOPERS, of THE STARS MY DESTINATION. They all hold up well today, and this book is well worth the price of admission into the Science Fiction Book Club. What’s that? THE STARS MY DESTINATION wasn’t Heinlein? I stand corrected, but it still rocks.

Does Bruce Grossman do anything besides read ever? Come on, dude: You did three reviews for your weekly column, you’ve already gotten down and dirty with some French-Canadian intrigues, and here you are, reviewing CROOKED, a slightly humorous crime tale. The book sounds good, but you, my man, are outta sight.

Responsible Rod Lott has been on a mighty generous streak lately, it seems that all the big money this site spits out has turned him soft. Or are the books he reads getting better? It seems the case with SNOW BLIND. Given the premise, I thought this was an absolute slam-dunk of a bad review, but after reading Lott’s assessment, I might just go ahead and pick it up. Book by its cover, I guess.

FRIDAY >> 8.4.06
I’m not surprised that Lott was underwhelmed by the first edition of the new SHADOW reissues: There’s never enough action in those books, especially compared to Doc Savage or The Avenger. At least the book includes THE GOLDEN VULTURE for us fans of THE CHINATOWN DEATH CLOUD PERIL. (Congrats, Paul, you’ve just been plugged three times in this column alone! We look forward to your check…)

Finally, Lott comma Rod rounded out the week of reviews with a thunderous ovation for James Siegel’s DECEIT, which takes a Jayson Blair-type reporter and enmeshes him into a tangled web of – you guessed it – lies! All lies! –Ryun Patterson

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