This week’s FRIDAY AFTERNOON REGASM is later than usual (if three weeks can be called “usual”) because our estemeed editor Rod had yardwork duties over at the old BOOKGAM HQ. But since it’s the start of a holiday weekend, you didn’t even notice, did you? Nope, you were too busy sitting at your demoralizing cubicle playing Snood on silent mode and forwarding YouTube links to all your friends. Or perhaps you had a “doctor’s appointment” and had to leave early, because that bar area at Chili’s fills up fast this time of year.

MONDAY >> 5.22.06
Ahhh, Monday. It was such an idyllic time. There was neither the coarseness or vulgarity of Wednesday nor the insouciant egotism of Thursday. These days nowadays can’t hold a candle to reviews such as my own look at Christopher Moore’s A DIRTY JOB, which in turn takes a look at the plight of Grim Reaper apprentices struggling with the day-to-day travails of single parenthood. Apparently, it’s not as easy as it sounds.

That review would be enough for most days, but this party was just getting started for Monday. We also got the good news that Henry Selick would be bringing Neil Gaiman’s wonderful CORALINE to the big screen, and to top it off, Monday brought down the house with Rod Lott’s incisive review of Joseph Finder’s KILLER INSTINCT.

The title of that book brings up a bone I have to pick with the publishing industry as a whole: The titles of books are really starting to suck. There’s a lowest-common-denominator factor at work here, so please, for the love of Evangeline Lilly’s breasts, let’s not just pander to impulse-buying trends and mix it up a little, people. The solution is simple: From now on, books everywhere will be arranged alphabetically by title. The BLOOD HUNTs and KILLER INSTINCTs will be lost in the crowd, while more imaginative titling will be rewarded.

As a side note, keep and eye out for my new thrillers: XYLOPHONE PASSIONS and ZEPPELIN MURDER.

TUESDAY >> 5.23.06
Though obviously not up to Monday’s caliber, Tuesday didn’t screw things up too terribly. The BOOK WHORE cashed in for Matthew Pearl’s THE POE SHADOW, shilled for THE BIG BOOM by Dominic Stansberry and got down and dirty in favor of THE DETECTION COLLECTION, edited by Simon Brett.

Speaking of lowest-common-denominator, BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS went all out this week, digging up a book called THE MAN FROM S.T.U.D. IN THE ORGY AT MADAME DRACULA’S that was actually published. Is this how far we’ve fallen as a society? Good thing wholesome books like Aaron Marc Stein’s SNARE ANDALUCIAN are around to teach us valuable lessons like:
· Don’t follow a “super-chick” too closely into somewhere that’s not your bedroom.
· Don’t trust Spaniards.

Also in the BBB&B mix was KISS HER GOODBYE by Wade Miller, proving yet again that nihilism and detectives go together like chocolate and a knee to the groin.

In other news, the BOOKGASM forums are open! Now you, too, can give your small, jealous opinions the credibility of being published on the Internet! Use as much or as little punctuation as you’d like!!!!! Also emoticons and questionibel spellling !!

WEDNESDAY >> 5.24.06
BOOKS 2 FILM deconstructed Harry Alan Towers’ 1965 translation of Agatha Christie’s murderlicious AND THEN THERE WERE NONE to the big screen as TEN LITTLE INDIANS. That Christie chick wrote some pretty influential stuff, and though Mr. Lott says the 1945 film adaptation is the best one, I think Whoopi Goldberg could give it a run for its money with SISTER ACT 3: AND THEN THERE WERE NUNS.

If that imagery wasn’t horrible enough, check out the review of David Wellington’s web-novel-turned-real-novel MONSTER ISLAND. The monsters in question are zombies, by the way; I got halfway through it before coming to the sad realizations that:
a) Neither MOTHRA nor its twin pop-star priestesses would be making an appearance, and
b) Reading a half a novel on your computer screen can blind you.

THURSDAY >> 5.25.06
BOOKGASM proved once again that it’s the cream of the literary-weblog-with-a-saucy-name crop with a Q&A with THE DEVIL IS A GENTLEMAN’s J.C. Hallman. A word of warning to future interviewees: We cannot be influenced by flattery or bribery. It is safe to say, however, that Mr. Hallman is among the greatest nonfiction writers of the past century. He discusses not only his adoration of BOOKGASM, but also the etiquette of Satanic dungeon-crawling, his aversion to snake-handling and techniques for escaping a mob of Scientologists.

If the war of terror has given us anything, it’s international espionage thrillers. Proving this point is Brad Thor’s TAKEDOWN, which, according to Lott, is “the best midget thriller since MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III.” Take that, Danny DeVito.

FRIDAY >> 5.26.06
Louis Fowler kicked off the (mercifully) last day of the workweek with a dissection of Morgan Spurlock’s DON’T EAT THIS BOOK: FAST FOOD AND THE SUPERSIZING OF AMERICA. Now I’m no doctor, but I find this book a blatant slander of the hardworking folks in the food-service industry. If a 6,000-calorie-a-day diet was good enough for Marlon Brando, then, by L. Ron, it’s good enough for us. Take your Commie diatribes somewhere else, comrade.

And Mr. Lott found issues with DC Comics novelizations again. Devin Grayson’s DC UNIVERSE: INHERITANCE – much like its precursor, LAST SONS – carries on the unfortunate idea of comics readers and book readers being separate species. That said, there’s something to be said for continued support of this series; I think it could go somewhere interesting, but more work – and more Ambush Bug – is needed.

That’s it for the week that was on BOOKGASM. Have a great holiday weekend and remember, just because Monday is a federal holiday for bank employees and mailmen, it’s not for us! So check back for the same ol’ same ol’, won’t you? –Ryun Patterson