It’s Friday afternoon again, and what would a Friday during National Salad Month be without the requisite REGASM?

Nothing, you say?

Correct.

MONDAY >> 5.15.06
Rod Lott continued his quest to be removed from the Hard Case Crime hit list by giving plenty of publicity to the movie deal for Richard Powell’s SAY IT WITH BULLETS. Much like a young Bob Dylan, Hard Case founder Charles Ardai also asked one of life’s eternal questions: “How often does a book written more than 50 years ago make you laugh out loud?”

That’s deep, man. Way deep.

Lott also dipped into the waters of supernatural Chicago with a review of PROVEN GUILTY, the eighth installment in Jim Butcher’s DRESDEN FILES saga. The idea is that there’s this private eye who’s also some sort of sorcerer. Coincidentally, I sat on the bus the other day (in Chicago, no less) with a guy who claimed to be a sorcerer.

“Don’t sit too close to me, or I’m gonna cast a spell on you,” he said.

“Seriously?” I replied.

“Yep. I could make all your hair fall out if I wanted to. Or make you itch all over.”

He then got up and asked people for spare change until the bus driver kicked him out. I detected no magical changes in the ether, but the guy did manage to cast a smell that lasted the whole trip.

TUESDAY >> 5.16.06
The BOOKGASM BOOK WHORE did her best to prop up several new releases, including THE LOST VAN GOGH and Chris Claremont’s X-MEN: THE LAST STAND novelization, among others. She also managed to back-handedly compliment THE DA VINCI CODE ILLUSTRATED SCREENPLAY author Akiva Goldsman.

He’s not that great. He ruined Batman, you know, and what’s this whole DA VINCI nonsense anyway? The movie seems to have two distinct elements:
1) Looking at things and talking.
2) Running away.

Bruce Grossman dove into his paperback Way-Back Machine and pulled a crimebusting Rabbi out of his hat (FRIDAY THE RABBI SLEPT LATE), not to mention some early work by Christopher Priest (INDOCTRINAIRE), a dive into the seedy world of goofballs and needle tracks with THE PUSHER, and an Ellery Queen exploration of Hollywood’s sleazy side (THE FOUR OF HEARTS). Wait. There’s a non-sleazy side to Hollywood?

Professional crimebuster Ken Davis took a stab at Michael Connelly’s CRIME BEAT, a collection of article doubling as one man’s yearning for true crime. A police detective himself, Davis is well acquainted with gritty, crime-ridden streets, especially the safe ones near the edge of town right by the Waffle House.

WEDNESDAY >> 5.17.06
Lee Child’s THE HARD WAY got the once over from the Lottinator, and He proclaimed it good. The book stars former military policeman Jack Reacher, and I’ve already refrained from making about 20 terrible jokes about this particular posting, so let’s call it good and move on.

We learned that BL Publishing is releasing some books based in the Warhammer universe, as well as fiction based on several New Line Cinema horror properties.

If you don’t know Warhammer, don’t get too worried. It’s basically Dungeons & Dragons for people whose nerdosity transcends D&D into a realm completely filled with intricately painted figurines portraying dwarven siege engines and the like. There’s good news on the Freddy Krueger and Judge Dredd side of things, though, so it’s not a total wash.

THURSDAY >> 5.18.06
Rod got groovy on Thursday with DC’s SHOWCASE PRESENTS METAMORPHO: VOLUME 1. I totally dig Metamorpho’s color scheme, but I think someone with his powers in this day and age would be totally inneffective due to the terrible state of U.S. science education:

“I can turn into any element? Awesome! I want to turn into … into … are Flaming Hot Chee-tos an element?”

BOOKGASM also passed judgment on J.C. Hallman’s THE DEVIL IS A GENTLEMAN: EXPLORING AMERICA’S RELIGIOUS FRINGE. Say what you want about UFO cults, Charlie Sheen and L. Ron Hubbardites, but I think we need to get the skinny on those Methodists. There’s just something not right there.

FRIDAY >> 5.19.06
Earlier today, we rejoiced in the fact that at least one decent read (FAHRENHEIT 451) has been included in the NEA’s new book club promotion … which sounds suspiciously like a cult. I mean, should kids really be exposed to THE JOY LUCK CLUB? Bor-ing.

Mathletes rejoice! Use the quantitative skills you haven’t touched since high school by reading CHANCES ARE…: ADVENTURES IN PROBABILITY. Fortunately, I already know the probability of this book gracing my nightstand.

Rounding out the week is my very own review of RIVER OF GODS. I might be kicking a dead robotic horse here, but this is a seriously awesome book. Now, I don’t get the warmest reception when I tell my friends and coworkers that I review science fiction books for BOOKGASM, but books like this make it all worthwhile. And people like you. –Ryun Patterson