Amusing, unedited excerpts from press releases promoting books we otherwise dare not mention!
from TO BE CHOSEN by Michael Travis Jasper:
Fans of every genre will be entertained. The alternative/fantasy view of our real and current world will appeal to readers of S.M. Stirling and LORD OF THE RINGS. The Sci-fi aspects will please fans of DUNE, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, and BBC America’s popular TORCHWOOD. The mythological references will appeal to fans of THE DAVINCI CODE and TV’s STARGATE. There is magic for lovers of Harry Potter, Laurell K. Hamilton, TV’s HEROES and CHARMED — definitely CHARMED. There are a few horrific moments for the Stephen King fan as well. Even Nora Roberts’ readers will be sucked in by the romance as will the lovers of Anne Rice. Catchy pop-culture infused dialogue will please the viewers of shows like GREY’S ANATOMY and followers of the trendiest blogs. There is much here for the extensive gay reading audience especially. Fans of William J. Mann and Michael Thomas Ford will delight in this. Viewers of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, BROTHERS & SISTERS, QUEER AS FOLK, and even WILL & GRACE will be hooked. Please also note that musical devotees dedicated to the band Evanescence will be drawn to a haunting story that evokes the same atmosphere as Amy Lee’s ethereal voice and poignant, intense lyrics.
from THE SQUIRREL, THE WORM AND THE NUT TREES by Jimmie Powell:
The book tells the tale of the adorable Mr. Squirrel, whose annual trip to stockpile nuts takes an unexpected turn when he discovers they’ve been ruined – turned rotten due to a silk-spinning worm who derives a cruel kind of pleasure from enveloping the trees in his web. Memphis resident Jimmy Powell is a published poet who works as an aircraft technician for FedEx.
from THE WINDS OF ASHARRA by R. Leigh:
Move over Harry Potter, fantasy novels just got sexy. THE WINDS OF ASHARRA is set in the sensual world of Asharra, a place with twin suns and a purple sky. Unlike traditional fantasy fiction, there’s not a wizard, witch or troll in sight. Instead, the reader is treated to such unique and diverse characters as evolved feline-like creatures, intelligent telepathic trees, musical dragons and dream inducing mystical crystal beings.
The main characters, two 18 year old Earth teenagers, Victor and Zoe, unexpectedly arrive on the surreal and sensual land of Asharra and embark on a journey of self discovery in a world where adventure, love, sex and home all have new meanings. When Ionera, a troubled Asharran girl with a mystical secret enters Victor’s life, his priorities turn upside down and new challenges present themselves including the beginning of an epic quest which will benefit all of Asharra if successful.
from RULES ARE RULES by Julie Scandora:
When author Julie Scandora discovered a few years ago that a close relative was a pedophile her shock quickly gave way to a determined effort to help those that are vulnerable prey to these people — the children. RULES ARE RULES is a gentle story about a little girl named Maya who is supposed to kiss her aunt but doesn’t feel comfortable doing so. Maya is torn between what she feels inside and what the adults tell her. She resolves the issue after her forest soothes her, a friend listens to her and a chickadee inspires her.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Why, that Jasper novel sounds like just what I need! Every television series I’ve never seen, wrapped up in a package nobody wants! How could it possibly fail? I mean, I agree that you might want to cite similar products to boost your credibility, but sheeesh.
I think it would just be quicker to tell us who wouldn’t like “To Be Chosen.” Wow. That title makes it possible to write so many good blurbs. “Critics love To Be Chosen. So will you.” And such.
I think they’re trying to tell us that this place called Asharra is sensual.
Sorry to all those finding my admittedly enthusiastic “press release” over-stuffed with references to works with similar or related content. My intention was simply to help fans of all those names movies, shows, and books find their way to mine. With the exception of one “not so literate” reviewer on amazon, I believe everyone that has read my book has enjoyed it quite a lot, including people from all walks of life and very different interests. If any of you actually read my book from cover to cover, and are not entertained, I would be highly surprised. It has been nominated for Best Novel by the Gaylactic Spectrum Awards, which features works in this genre. Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to judge based on one over-zealous but accurate article. Happy reading.