FILE 13 >> 4.17.09

Amusing, unedited excerpts from press releases promoting books we otherwise dare not mention!

from LETTERS NEVER MAILED: 32 YEARS OF WRITING TO TOM WAITS by Susan Borgeson:

Professional journalist, Susan Borgeson, has given us a glimpse of her personal struggle to ‘connect’ with Tom Waits while simultaneously battling a severe bi-polar disorder. The creativity which emerges in these letters is tragically poignant since the “stuff” that comprises mental illness is totally absent on the other side of the Brownings’ coin. At the tender young age of 21, writer Susan Borgeson was writing radio copy at station KBDF in Eugene, Oregon. The year was 1977, and musician Tom Waits was touring his “Small Change” release featuring the hit, “Step Right Up.” The two met and the rest is history.

With a kiss goodbye and subsequent numerous hospitalizations for mental illness,
Borgeson has continued writing Waits over the past 32 years. LETTERS NEVER MAILED is a collection of poetry by author Susan Borgeson written following Waits’ ‘99 appearance at the Hult Center in Eugene , Oregon. Author Borgeson’s moods in poetry collection, LETTERS NEVER MAILED, range from a mad passionate love for Waits to the soul-wrenching pain of rejection. After 32 years, did Waits ever write Borgeson back? No. But these thousands of letters obviously ended up somewhere, as they were never returned in the mail.

from MYSTERIOUS MAGICAL CIRCUS FAMILY KIDS: THE CHOCOLATE CAKE TURKEY LIP CRUMB TRAIL MYSTERY ADVENTURE by R. Hawk Starkey:

There are strange happenings as this mysterious little caravan of wagons, pulled by horses and elephants, travels over the mountains to the next town. The kids each have their own, shall we say, “interesting,” magical power – but will magic be enough to deal with some very weird encounters? Every day seems to be “show time with a twist,” as this circus meets some very strange and mysterious situations – oh, you’re not going to believe what is about to happen!

Excerpts from the book: As I reached for the brown stick, Big T-Rex-Tusker Mountain Mammal let out a loud warning trumpet blast in my direction that knocked me off my feet. I fell backwards to the ground just as that turkey lip branch turned into a snake! The first dinosaurs to reach the row of big trees didn’t even slow down. Those turkey lip monsters slammed right into the trees with a horrible crash. The trees shuddered and shook and were nearly uprooted.

from DIRKLE SMAT AND THE VIKING SHIELD by Lynn D. Garthwaite:

Dirkle and his four friends established the Explorer’s Club in order to solve mysteries, and along the way they have some very hair-raising adventures! Children have laughed along with the stories and have been amazed at how the Explorers work through some pretty sticky situations! In each book, Dirkle and his friends meet amazing characters and travel to sensational places. The series, featuring Dirkle’s friends Toonie Oobles, Bean Lumley, Fiddy Bublob and Quid Smat, can be read in any order.

from HEARTS OF STONE by Kate Gessner:

To find out how most Americans view prophetic dreams today talk with Kate Gessner, author of HEARTS OF STONE, who is now living in Iraq as a contract worker doing project estimates for the U.S. government. HEARTS OF STONE is a collection of dreams the author has had for almost 50 years, most of which have come true within a two-week period. Kate’s dreams have correctly predicted deaths, accidents, hurricanes, the advent of AIDS, plane crashes, 9-11, the Valdez oil spill, the Challenger explosion, the death of Ayatollah Khomeini, and have included detailed information about the End Times. “I am just a person who has dreams that contain messages from God,” says Kate. “Although I have given the world messages for the past 30 years no one is listening,” says Kate, “No one has heard. I have written HEARTS OF STONE to share what God wants us to know. After periods of silence, God is speaking to us once again and we should be listening to what He is saying.”

from MEMOIRS OF A FORTUNE TELLER by Gary Turcotte:

This book is a journal of the most disturbing readings of a traveling fortune teller. A carnival set-up man and his girlfriend are entertained daily as they watch Mary Ann the fortune teller work on the most resistant customers. They watch her turn the skeptics into believers. They see that she is truly gifted at seeing the future as well as the past. By chance she uncovers the truth about the carnie couple. He is a traveling serial killer and as the fair enters the new season the locals are asking the fortune teller to help find a missing child. Mary Ann is an older woman and is afraid to be involved. She realizes that many of the local people’s reading are entwined. There is a sequel to this book titled VIGILANTE WITCH HUNTER.

from THE GLENN MILLER CONSPIRACY: THE NEVER-BEFORE-TOLD TRUE STORY OF HIS LIFE – AND DEATH by Hunton Downs, Lt. Col. US Army, Ret.:

If you’re old enough to recognize the name Glenn Miller, it might take you back to your grandparents gliding across the living room floor to one of this Big Band giant’s trademark tunes. Through U.S., British and German secret documents accessed in his military work, and through information that has since been de-classified, award-winning journalist Downs pieced together, bit by bit, the amazing story of Miller’s work for the U.S. Psychological Warfare Division and his subsequent role as a secret envoy for General Dwight Eisenhower in Ike’s attempt to end the war as early as possible. Adhering to strict guidelines of journalistic reporting, Downs provides overwhelming proof – including scores of official documents, critically appraised literary sources, trustworthy oral sources and his own keen observation – to solve this mystery after more than half a century, revealing that Miller actually died at the hands of Nazi assassins seeking to kill Eisenhower. The resulting cover-up is as interesting as the events themselves.

from THE ADVENTURES OF HENRIETTA HAM: GONE FISHING by Donna Raheb:

Concerned with the grim statistics regarding the health and sedentary lifestyle of America’s children, author, outdoor enthusiast, and breast cancer survivor Donna Raheb has written another children’s book that encourages children to go outside to exercise and explore life. THE ADVENTURES OF HENRIETTA HAM: GONE FISHING is Raheb’s second book in the series about two seven-year-old girls who morphed into canned hams in Raheb’s first book. In this adventure, Henrietta and Tanya go on a fishing expedition with the boys and wind up in trouble once again. Raheb lives up to the promise that this will be a popular series.

from THE ADVENTURES OF SONGHA: THE AMAZING SAVANNAH CAT by Linda R. Caterine:

Savannah cats are a relatively new breed that is part African Serval Wildcat and part domestic cat. Songha’s temperament is that of a traditional domestic cat, but her wildcat blood drives her to seek out adventure. Her restlessness takes her into exciting and sometimes, dangerous territory. Caterine has included a poem at the end of each chapter summarizing its contents. At the end of Chapter Three, in “One Of A Kind,” Caterine writes:
 
My new home is in Las Vegas
With its bright and shiny streets,
Where white tigers jump through fiery hoops
In a city that never sleeps,
A fitting place for one like me
Where “Stars” are often seen,
I have found that in Las Vegas
It is GOOD to be the Queen!

from CARBON COPY: ALPHA MAN by Gary Turcotte:

A secret agent (Derek) has assumed the identity of an Arabian world leader. The original leader has sold his country and is enjoying world travel. He has plastic surgery and a new identity. Derek lets the Allied countries invade the nation with little opposition. The allied nations know that the holy country cannot be taken by force. All men women and children only answer to their God. They are convinced that they are in a religious war against the infidels. Using reflective optics. The allies install receivers on stealth jets and hills, towers and tall buildings that allow the allies to show a broadcast in the night sky. Missiles appear to cross through the night sky. Soon the allies will broadcast the last scenes of the bible, the apocalypse. The four horsemen galloping across the sky. The stars falling, the moon bleeding. God himself will appear to be the size of a mountain. He will tell the crowd that one thousand years of peace has begun and to obey the infidels. “Make your swords into tools of the garden.” A look alike false leader is executed. Derek’s mission ends and he has his face reconstructed again. Derek is volunteered to extract valuable secrets from the captured alien from the Roswell crash. He escapes feeling that he knows too much to remain alive He shares the alien’s past in this book as he plans his escape.
 
The knowledge makes a lot of the mysteries of civilization clear and answers the questions that have been puzzling mankind for centuries. Although Derek’s mind is full of secrets, he is still focused to think like a spy. His training is the only thing that may keep him alive. This book is a spy thriller with a sci-fi twist. 

from THE LENNON PROPHECY: A NEW EXAMINATION OF THE DEATH CLUES OF THE BEATLES by Joseph Niezgoda:

Did John Lennon sell his soul to the devil in exchange for his worldly musical success with The Beatles and beyond? THE LENNON PROPHECY offers a new interpretation of the hidden messages and symbols that have ornamented Beatles mythology for years and offers the view that Lennon joined historical figures such as Mississippi “Crossroads” blues guitarist Robert Johnson, Dr. Johann Faust, Pope Sylvester II among others who entered into a pact with the devil to exchange their souls for earthly successes. Niezgoda dissects and examines the Beatles’ and Lennon’s recordings and album artwork and follows a fascinating and unique trail of sorcery, mysticism, numerology, backward masking, anagrams and literary and theological writings to explain his conclusions.

from O’SHAUGHNESSEY: A BOY AND HIS LEPRECHAUN by Jeremy McGuire:

In O’SHAUGHNESSEY , author Jeremy McGuire weaves a fantasy tale of a little boy who befriends a leprechaun who takes him on a magical journey which should stimulate any child’s imagination.
 
“Bobby Mahoney awoke one morning to find a leprechaun sitting on his bedpost.” And so begins the adventure. The leprechaun is called O’Shaughnessey because that’s the name the little fellow’s chosen for himself and because his faerie name is virtually unpronouncable by humans. Bobby flies in the leprechaun’s magical tricorn hat into the deep woods to meet the crusty, antisocial O’Sullivan with his hoard of gold, to the Cave where the Ban-Shees dwell, and to the Mountain of Shadows, where is kept the dreaded Coach-a-Bower, the Deathcoach.
 
Author McGuire weaves the invisible realms seamlessly with Bobby’s real world where he experiences the divorce of his parents, and the illness of his little sister, each world influencing and being influenced by the other. 



Is O’Shaughnessey real or an imaginary friend? 



Yes.

from OTIS – THE MUSICAL OWL by Joseph Chappelle:

Otis isn’t your ordinary owl. For one thing, he’s got high musical tastes-Bach, Mozart, Chopin. And human language? Mastered it. But after flying the coop from an animal rehabilitation lab, Otis undertakes his biggest challenge yet: discovering his long-lost family.

It’s a task that will set in motion a massive animal pursuit all over Otsego County, New York State, as once sworn food-chain enemies join forces to help the charismatic owl discover his roots. Meet Pee Wee, the little field mouse with a big heart who organizes his brethren to scour every barn for Otis’ family; and Mary, a fellow owl who could hold the key to what really happened that day Otis was left an orphan. Through it all, this brainy bird learns the value of having friends in low places, while showing the high-flying leadership qualities that soon make him an inter-species legend.

from HIDDEN SECRETS OF “MANY, BUT ONE” by Dr. Donald Ryles:

Were the 9-11 attacks and beyond encoded into a book copyrighted 4 years before?… A book meant to help and guide us all ? That is the claim of Donald Ryles PhD, CH and his new book HIDDEN SECRETS OF “MANY, BUT ONE”. The book, which Dr. Ryles feels was “spiritually sent through me as a guide for us all to future happiness and prosperity”, contains 17 encoded instances (similar to Bible Codes) of what he strongly feels are warnings and statements of the 9-11 attacks, war afterwards, and beyond. Direct connections to the flight numbers of the planes used in the attacks and a vivid description of how the World would view the attacks. Even more interesting is the fact that these findings were fully copyrighted in the book 4 years before the 9-11 attacks. A point he is quick to point out when challenged as a fraud or fake.

from AN AMAZING STORY by Carlo Gabbi:

Sex, love and adventure are mixed among the pages of AN AMAZING STORY, which tells part of Dolores’ life. We follow her from her native Brazil to wealthier California where she has her first contact with love. But the experience of being sexually molested by her stepfather leaves her heartbroken and disillusioned. Disappointed, she runs away, believing that her life is only a continuous suffering. An unexpected meeting in Los Angeles takes her to Sydney, Australia, with promises of a brilliant career, success and wealth. But soon she is without work. Desperation, loneliness and necessity takes Dolores on the road to sin in the ephemeral nocturnal lights of Kings-Cross, as a high-class prostitute.

from THE RHYME KILLERS by Judy Gooden with Naomi Helterbran:

Detective Katie Knight is Philadelphia’s top monster hunter. Katie and her partner, Avis Rent are assigned to the Pied Piper case, the name the newspapers have given to the latest serial killer running amuck in the city. The killer’s signature is one Katie has never seen. Everything about the case is unusual and eluding.
 
Dust mites danced through broken windows, an insane ballet in the waning light. They were the only things moving in the room. As her eyes adjusted, Katie spied the body of a woman sprawled in the corner of the room. The woman looked as if she had been tossed aside and forgotten. Afternoon light filtered through cracked windows forming stripes on the corpse. This pattern continued across a dirty towel draped over the lower half of the victim’s otherwise naked body.
 
Katie has to prove herself since the antiquated Chief of Detectives wants all women …especially her out of the homicide division. Katie refuses to give up in spite of the numerous dilemmas she faces. THE RHYME KILLERS has an ending so bizarre no reader will be able to determine the outcome.

from GATEWAYS TO THE OTHERWORLD: THE SECRETS BEYOND THE FINAL JOURNEY, FROM THE EGYPTIAN UNDERWORLD TO THE GATES IN THE SKY by Phillip Gardiner:

Philip Gardiner, will show precisely what the purpose of the Great Pyramid at Giza, and many other ancient monuments, truly was. In his new Book, DVD and audio book, GATEWAYS TO THE OTHERWORLD, Gardiner unravels the mystery using science, etymology and hard analysis to show that there is indeed a special universal frequency that ancient man understood to be the true method of opening up a gateway in the mind to what we now term, Otherworlds.

from BOUNCING BILLY: A LEARNING ADVENTURE by Ricky Pierce:

All the pieces of playground equipment are excited for the end of the rainy season, except Bouncing Billy, a basketball with some unique-but unusual-spots on his side. He’s worried his different appearance will make him a benchwarmer when the recess bell rings.
 
His pals in the equipment locker, however, are quick to point out that differences are what make each of them specially suited to what they do, whether it’s facilitating a game of jump rope or football. That’s when Bouncing Billy discovers his “spots” are actually key finger-position markings, giving young basketball players a leg-up on shooting. As sounds of “swoosh!” ring out again and again over the playground, Bouncing Billy finds he’s a slam-dunk just the way he is.

from CHARLIE BIRD – THE BEST BIRD EVER by Linda Bird:

This is the story of Charlie Bird, and his featherless flock, Sara and Molly. Charlie is a small parrot, a Jenday Conure. The two sisters think he is “The Best Bird Ever.” That is, to them anyway! Sara and Molly are Charlie’s best human friends. Sara is nine years old. Molly has celebrated seven birthdays. Charlie Bird came to live with the girls two years ago. He is a very important part of their lives now. They eat together, play together, and even watch TV together. “Charlie Bird is a very mischievous little bird,” says author Linda Bird. “He is constantly providing entertainment to our family. CHARLIE BIRD highlights some of the real and imaginary episodes in Charlie’s life. I have lived with Charlie for three years, an experience that has enlightened me to the intelligence and sense of fun that parrots posses.”

from SHADOWS OF THE BLUES by Whitney J. LeBlanc:

Naomi was buck-naked. She grabbed a chicken by the head and swung it around and around until the head was the only thing that remained in her hand. The body of the chicken quivered on the ground. Then Naomi threw the head in the fire, picked up the pulsating body, and sprinkled the spewing blood over the candle-covered altar. After that, she took a long stick and spelled out a word on the ground. Tante spelled it out in her own mind as each of the large letters were formed in the dirt. “M-A-R-T-H-A.” When that was done, Naomi and the two girls danced over the writing on the ground-their movements got faster and faster and more and more frantic and continued on and on in time to the drum beat.”

from SHE CAME FROM HEAVEN by Rosanne Pellicane:

Based on actual events, SHE CAME FROM HEAVEN has more twists and turns than a map taking the back roads through the Hamptons on a holiday weekend.

When a thirty-something couple rescues a lost Labrador retriever, Whimsey, placed on the back doorstep on their Washington, D.C. townhouse, life takes a left turn. With two careers, two addresses, and now two dogs, the action never stops. The couple stick together through success and failure as they consolidate their differences. Just when the two discovers the little white church on the hill, and they seem to touch the hand of God, the untimely death of one partner blasts future plans into bits & pieces. As the remaining partner struggles with a wave of aftershocks following the tragedy, God becomes real, and a healing journey through faith begins. Looking down the barrel of life with just the rescued retriever, Whimsey’s arrival appears less serendipitous and more prophetic.

“Our eyes met. She returned the same look she had that first night in Washington, the night I discovered her on the doorstep. After all these years her quarter-moon eyes still melted my heart with no less intensity. And to think, I was the one who didn’t want her. Imagine! Me, lover of all animals, actually tried my best to give her away. Now she and I sat alone in this quiet house facing an uncertain future together. I began to stroke her head and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.”

Most dog owners believe their pet is imbued with some heavenly powers. Could all sixty-million dog owners in America be wrong?

from CHLOE ANNE – FORCE OF NATURE by Valerie Oblath:

Chloe Anne has left nothing to chance when making her feline feelings known, and the result is a charming tail entitled CHLOE ANNE – FORCE OF NATURE, a roman à cat, a memoir — as told to Valerie, Chloe Anne’s mom.
 
Of questionable – but no doubt royal – lineage, voluptuous (she hates the “f” word -f-a-t) Chloe Anne takes us through the adventures of her life, from her narrow escape from her unfortunate incarceration in the Big House, to her foray into the washing machine (talk about fluff and fold!) and her hysterical escapades with ducks.as she comes to learn the most important thing in life: finding home.
 
An endearing story, a perfect gift for any cat person.and you know who you are!

Buy them at Amazon.