Anyone who grew up reading comics in several decades ago remember those ads hawking all these cool things you could order. Or, better yet, a way to make money to win a bicycle. Of course, most people who answered these ads learned the most important lesson of their lives: There’s a sucker born every minute, and they read comic books.
Kirk Demarais’ great MAIL-ORDER MYSTERIES: REAL STUFF FROM OLD COMIC BOOK ADS! answers the lasting questions to those kids whose parents would not let them waste their time and money. And if you did, it’s a clear reminder of exactly what kind of crap you ended up with. Ironically, this book represents, without a doubt, some of the best money I ever spent.
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More than a decade ago, I had an idea for an article about testing what stupid things I could list on eBay that someone would be dumb enough to buy, i.e. one sock. I never pursued it, but if I had, perhaps much of it would it been purchased or perused by Cary McNeal and Beverly Jenkins, who’ve compiled unusual purchases from the once-great auction site into CRAP I BOUGHT ON EBAY: 101 CRAZY BIZARRE, SERIOUSLY WEIRD, RIDICULOUSLY RAUNCHY ITEMS EXPOSED.
Said items include a business card holder adorned with illustrations of various types of defecated matter, Menudo trading cards (mint), a potato shaped like a frog, a wishbone from 1946, History Channel’s ALL ABOUT DUNG on DVD, a disco-light butt plug, a Valtrex note pad, an Alcoholics Anonymous card game (12 steps, natch), a belt buckle emblazoned with the words “EAT CHEESE OR DIE,” and something called “Angry Vagina Painting.”
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Hope you’re sitting down, but C.W. Moss’ UNICORN BEING A JERK depicts a unicorn being a jerk. The book of cartoons is as simple as that: a unicorn glues his pubic hairs to the floor, a unicorn becomes a pedophile, a unicorn rats out illegal immigrants to the cops. On one side of the spread, Moss gives the reason for said unicorn’s jerkiness; on the other, he shows it in full color.
At the risk of matching the unicorn’s jerkiness, either it’s not funny or I just don’t get it. “Unicorn” could be replaced with “Chuck Norris” or any other annoying Internet meme (redundant) and it still wouldn’t be funny. Would it? —Rod Lott
Buy it at Amazon.
It’s too bad I didn’t know Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher were assembling the book VHS: ABSURD, ODD, AND RIDICULOUS RELICS FROM THE VIDEOTAPE ERA, because I totally could have hooked them up with some real gems, including THE ERECAID (don’t ask, don’t Google) and TABLE TENNIS LOOPERS & BLOOPERS. Their loss!
Yeah, right. The book is plenty funny — really funny, in fact — without my would-be meager contributions. It does just what its title promises, with each page boasting a full-color photo of some for-one-reason-or-another horrendous VHS box from the “be kind rewind” age, then dismissed with a curt comment from the authors. This last bit isn’t needed to yield laughs, but look at it as icing — rich, delicious vanilla icing.
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The publishing trend of turning websites into hotcakes-selling books continues unabated with three new titles: COLLEGEHUMOR: THE WEBSITE. THE BOOK, FAIL HARDER and WHEN PARENTS TEXT: SO MUCH SAID … SO LITTLE UNDERSTOOD.
I’ve seen some funny things on CollegeHumor.com in the past, but for whatever reason, they’re not in this hefty paperback, which compiles articles from its first decade, as well as some you haven’t seen. Or maybe I’ve just grown up? (Nah.) At any rate, the selections chosen by editor Streeter Seidell do lean toward the “college” half of the site’s equation, with imaginary Facebook pages, beer google jokes and, of course, sexual situations. It’s almost like ANIMAL HOUSE 2.0. The contents are as reader-friendly as the site, overflowing with fun-lookin’ graphics, comics and illustrations; I just believe there are better, funnier examples online.
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