Whatnot

from VARIOUS FLAVORS OF COFFEE by Anthony Capella:

“That evening, as I walked down Piccadilly, I passed a carriage horse trying to copulate with a mare. … It made a strange sight: the stallion, still harnessed to the shafts of the carriage, was attempting to clamber on to the mare’s back, prodding his great pizzle into her hindquarters. Each time he slipped off, pulled backwards by the unwieldy weight of the brougham; yet, nothing daunted, he immediately returned for another attempt, pulling himself clumsily up again with his front hoofs, like a Chinaman trying to clasp a piece of meat with chopsticks. The mare, for her part, stood for it patiently, barely moving when the stallion took the skin of her neck between his teeth. The back end of the carriage had ripped up, and was being crashed around on the road with every staggering thrust of the stallion’s rear legs. … Eventually the driver of the brougham returned and began shouting at his beast, trying to force it off. Of course the stallion had no intention of all at stopping, even when its master began laying into it with a whip. … Eventually the stallion was done, and slid off the mare of his own volition, the battered brougham returning to the level with a crash. The horse’s pizzle was still dripping onto the cobbles when the owner finally succeeded in trotting him away, to an ironic cheer from the watchers.”

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