Without question, DESTROY ALL MOVIES!!! THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO PUNKS ON FILM is the funniest film guide I’ve read since 1996’s MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 AMAZING COLOSSAL EPISODE GUIDE, and I’m not even sure that counts, but whatevs.

For this mind-blowing, 462-page paperback, editors Zack Carlson and Bryan Connolly — of Alamo Drafthouse and Vulcan Video, respectively — had the bright idea to write a book about every movie that had a punk in it, whether as a main character or simply in the background of a single shot. The end result of that near-impossible endeavor will make you weep tears of joy.

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Do you remember last year’s IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE ZOMBIES!: A BOOK OF ZOMBIE CHRISTMAS CAROLS by Michael P. Spradlin? He’s back with EVERY ZOMBIE EATS SOMEBODY SOMETIME: A BOOK OF ZOMBIE LOVE SONGS, again illustrated by Jeff Weigel.

Go back and read that review, and that pretty much counts as a review of this one. Except take out the holiday-specific lyrics and replace them with these: “You never chew on eyes anymore when the virus trips,” “They say we’re dead and we don’t know” and “You are tender, you taste sweet.”

Don’t let this one hit the NEW YORK TIMES best-seller list, folks. —Rod Lott

Buy it at Amazon.

She’s back each Tuesday, pimpin’ out notable new releases to place on your radar, so let the tempting plot descriptions begin!

STAR WARS: FATE OF THE JEDI: VORTEX by Troy Denning — In a stunning turn of events, Luke Skywalker and his son, Ben, joined forces with members of the Sith armada sent to kill them — and turned their combined might against the monstrous being Abeloth. But with one menace dealt with, a new and even more insidious threat looms. Now Luke and Ben must go on the run, taking along the inscrutable — and ever dangerous — Sith apprentice Vestara Khai. With a host of Sith warriors in hot pursuit, the Skywalkers soon find themselves trapped on the moon Pydyr, caught between their former allies and a mob of angry Fallanassi. A new truce may be their only hope. But can a Sith ever be trusted?

THE CASTINGS TRILOGY by Pamela Freeman — A thousand years ago, the Eleven Domains were invaded and the original inhabitants were driven onto the road as Travelers, belonging nowhere, welcomed by no one. Now the Domains are governed with an iron fist by the Warlords, but there are wilder elements in the landscape that cannot be controlled and that may prove the Warlords’ undoing. Some are spirits of place — of water and air and fire and earth. Some are greater than these. And some are human. This 1,280-page omnibus edition includes all three novels — BLOOD TIES, DEEP WATER and FULL CIRCLE together for the first time.

BLACK WOLF by Dale Brown and Jim DeFelice — The warriors of Dreamland have moved on. Some, like Breanna and Zen Stockard, to positions of power and influence; others, like Danny Freah and Nuri Lupo, into Whiplash, a cutting-edge combination of brain and brawn. Tasked by the President to handle the country’s most deadly and sensitive jobs, the elite SpecWarfare unit marries muscle to technological prowess.
But can even Whiplash stand up to a covert Russian army of genetically enhanced assassins known only as the Wolves? Danny stumbles on an even darker and deadlier secret: One Wolf, the most ferocious of all, comes from the heart of Dreamland itself. And Danny saw him die more than a decade before.

THE SENTINELS: STONE OF TYMORA, BOOK III by R.A. Salvatore and Geno Salvatore — After dueling with a dragon and a demon, Maimun knows he must destroy the stone that has kept him on the run for most of his life. The question now is how. With Joen by his side, Maimun journeys to the Tower of Twilight to beg famed wizard Malchor Harpell for answers. But Harpell’s help comes at a steep price. Friends become enemies. Lost secrets come to light. And deep in the shadows, the sentinels are watching, scheming to save the stone — even if it means someone must die. This is the conclusion to the “Stone of Tymora” trilogy by best-selling author R.A. Salvatore and his son.

Buy them at Amazon.

Only one word accurately describes Chip Kidd and Geoff Spear’s SHAZAM!: THE GOLDEN AGE OF THE WORLD’S MIGHTIEST MORTAL, and that word is “Shazam!”

I kid. That word is “awesome.”

This will come to the surprise of none of Kidd’s fans, for America’s reigning superstar of graphic design has turned out one excellent art book after another dedicated to his favorite superheroes, from JACK COLE AND PLASTIC MAN and BATMAN COLLECTED to BAT-MANGA and now this.

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It’s difficult to know what to make of BAD THINGS, the fourth novel from Michael Marshall under this particular name (he has at least two others, including Michael Marshall Smith). Now in paperback, it’s basically a suspense thriller with some unexpected snatches of violence, but also carries a hint of the supernatural.

And it is generally well-written, which is the main reason for staying with it until the end. But not knowing how to categorize the novel is not the reason why it is ultimately a letdown. It’s more because all of its various characteristics never seem to gel into a coherent whole.

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For BOUND TO LAST: 30 WRITERS ON THEIR MOST CHERISHED BOOK, editor Sean Manning asked … well, the subtitle kinda spoiled it, huh? What that doesn’t tell you is the point behind the project: to declare undying love for the book as a physical object — one to hold and smell as you read. In other words, go jump in a lake, Kindles.

It’s an admirable venture. The foreword by Ray Bradbury plants you in the perfect mood for the contributors to follow, who wax nostalgic over the texts of their choosing. They tell you the story of how they found the story, their reaction to it, the influence it’s had on them.

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What’s been going on at our sister site, Flick Attack, “hitting you with one random movie a day … whether you like it or not”? Here’s what you’ve missed:

• the Norwegian Nazi zombie horror comedy DEAD SNOW, which’ll have you at “tree Nazi’s intestines, using them as a rope”
• the “nuts-ass-crazy” TAOISM DRUNKARD
• Dirk Benedict in RUCKUS, the “kindler, gentler” FIRST BLOOD
• the ’80s sex comedy SPLITZ, “really much hotter than it sounds”
• Thailand’s fright anthology 4BIA, both “slick and sick”

How many more reasons do you need?

Check out Orbit Books’ sharp-looking machinima-inspired trailer for Greg Bear’s newest sci-fi novel, HULL ZERO THREE. Because the book has much in common with first-person shooters, the clip echoes the feel of such video games.

Buy it at Amazon.

I wasn’t taken with the first book in Nobuaki Tadano’s 7 BILLION NEEDLES manga, but I gave VOLUME 2 a try, anyway. There are slight improvements in both story and art, as things are more fleshed-out and detailed, respectively, but it still doesn’t get under my skin like it should.

When we last left Hikaru, she was fighting a big ol’ tumor-looking monster in the school gym, with the help of an alien force that now converses with her brain and can control her every move. After a sound defeat of the Whatever It Is, she gets an inkling to travel to the island where her father is buried, so she can visit his grave.

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One of America’s most original and biting comic satirists, Denis Leary turns his irreverent eye and scathing humor on everything you love and cherish — and now he does it with SUCK ON THIS YEAR: LYFAO @ 140 CHARACTERS OR LESS, a hilarious, illustrated collection of tweets! Like a quiver full of arrows, the barbs will hit you where it hurts — and you’ll love it.

We have one copy to give away, going to:
• Pete Tass of Forest Lake, Minn.

Buy it at Amazon.