Our end-o’-week roundup of what you missed while working for The Man!
Can it really be Friday again? It seems like just a week ago that I was directing varying degrees of sarcasm at the previous week’s content. But there’s always more where that came from, and even though I’m a little sleepy from a big free lunch from my corporate sponsors*, I’m dedicated to our three loyal fans.
MONDAY >> 7.17.06
We’re no strangers to nepotism here at BOOKGASM HQ. Three of my cousins work in the mailroom, Rod Lott’s brothers run the art department and some weird old guy who claims to be Louis Fowler’s uncle is the guy who cleans up all the vomit. So it was really not a shock to see Malena Lott, wife of the aforementioned Rod Lott and author of THE STORK REALITY, review THE BABY MERCHANT, which is about a dude who brokers baby sales. Lott smells no evil in this book, and recommends it to people interested in science, fiction, science fiction, or selling babies. Who’d she have to sleep with to get this review up?
In the "dreams are always sexier than reality" department, Louis Fowler chimed in with his take on PRISONER OF X: 20 YEARS IN THE HOLE AT HUSTLER MAGAZINE! by Allan MacDonell. Louis gave his full appreciation to this one, and although working for HUSTLER might not be as raunchily sexy as everyone thought, something must have kept him there for 20 years, and it probably wasn’t the dental plan. Note: I could have written "oral plan" right there, but I refuse to stoop.
Rod Lott is simply nuts over Scott Smith’s THE RUINS, and although fiction set in Mayan ruins begins and ends for me with CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: MYSTERY OF THE MAYA, he made a fairly compelling case without spoiling anything. That’s what I really love about this site: Nobody’s going to spoil the ending, saying that Bruce Willis is a ghost, or the chick from that movie is a dude, or that there’s no twist at all in the LADY IN THE WATER.
Mickey Spillane died. I bet he went down shooting.
TUESDAY >> 7.18.06
Finally, a supergroup I can relate to. No, I’m not talking about ’80s band The Power Station, I’m talking about The Defenders. They bicker, sulk and generally are surly, and that’s a big plus for here at BOOKGASM. To prove it, Rod Lott had plenty of praise for ESSENTIAL DEFENDERS: VOL. 1. Personally, I preferred The New Defenders because I dig sexy bald chicks and Moondragon fits the bill.
Bruce Grossman stepped it up and delivered some timely reviews in the wake of Mickey Spillane’s death for this week’s BULLETS, BROADS, BLACKMAIL & BOMBS. In this case, he looked at THE KILLING MAN and BLACK ALLEY, which, despite their flights of illogic, Grossman deemed worthy of the Spillane name. After those, he dove into Sax Rohmer’s THE TRAIL OF FU MANCHU, and came to the same realization I had the last time I tried to read one of those books: They’re pretty crappy.
The hit parade of BOOKGASM interviews continues, and this week Rod Lott talked to Paul Malmont, scribe of current BOOKGASM favorite THE CHINATOWN DEATH CLOUD PERIL. He’s a smart guy, and he wrote a whole book without telling his wife. Wow. I can’t even lay down on the couch all weekend without my wife knowing. Great work.
WEDNESDAY >> 7.19.06
Richard Matheson is still writing. Shame to say it, but that’s too bad. His latest work, WOMAN, is, at least according to Rod Lott, the literary equivalent to an M. Night Shyamalan movie: boring as hell. You wrote I AM LEGEND, for God’s sake! Step it up!
Beginning his review with some startling revelations about his music collection (he’s from Oklahoma, so he deserves some slack), Louis proved his chops in the world of non-fiction with an in-depth look at BODY PIERCING SAVED MY LIFE: INSIDE THE PHENOMENON OF CHRISTIAN ROCK. Now, he admitted that he is fascinated by the God-rock culture, but even still, this sounds like a truly interesting book. But it still fails to answer my big question about Christianity: What wouldn’t Jesus do?
THURSDAY >> 7.20.06
NEWSGASM is great and newsy as ever this week, previewing an awesome looking show on the Sci-Fi Channel, or as I call it, the Greatest Channel Ever, Save MANSQUITO. Plus we eyed Stephen King’s latest novel that isn’t as good as THE STAND, and offered a teasing tidbit about our upcoming contest. Another hint: He doesn’t drink … wine.
Can Rob Zombie put out a piece of media that doesn’t involve Satanic bikers? They just don’t resonate with me. Satanists, sure, I can deal with them; and bikers, well, they unnerve me, but okay. But that combination just totally loses my interest. That aside, Zombie teams with Steve Niles for THE NAIL, a comic book that will sate your gore-lust for the time being. Rod liked it, so Satanic bikers be damned, I might just pick it up.
Mark Rose made a valiant appearance this week with a review of THE LIGHTSTONE, and call me a book-by-its-cover guy, but I could totally tell by its cover that this book isn’t up to par. My knee-jerk reactionism is proven correct by Rose, but he does give the author credit for creating a huge, complex world. That could possibly count for something.
FRIDAY >> 7.20.06
Who didn’t buy that early ’90s Jane’s Addiction album? I think it was written in Mexican, and I have no ear for languages, but everybody in my high school must have had at least one copy. Louis, being a youthful dude, probably doesn’t appreciate this, but I can see where he’s coming from in his review of WHORES: AN ORAL BIOGRAPHY OF PERRY FARRELL AND JANE’S ADDICTION. When people start calling things "oral biographies" and such, what I read is "excuse for lazy writing." Such is the case here, and Louis also made the point that the really hardcore fans who would appreciate the minutae of this book as probably too high, too dead or too crazy to care.
And finally, Bruce Grossman capped off the week with a review of NEVER FEAR by Scott Frost. When Bruce says that the plot is intricate, remember that this is a guy who eats, sleeps, smells and shits pulp fiction, so when he says that a plot is intricate, that’s a good thing. Grossman can’t get enough of the characters and Frost’s prose, so much so, in fact, that he’s running off to pick up a copy of the previous book, RUN THE RISK. A ringing endorsement if ever I read one, because it’s much too old for him to get it for free.
That’s all for now. Tip your waiters and waitresses, and have a good weekend. –Ryun Patterson
* Eat more asparagus! It’s what’s for dinner that looks like a tiny tree!
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